h a l f b a k e r y
Not so much a thought experiment as a single neuron misfire.
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You too can have a prettier, wrinkle-free face faster than you can say botulinum toxin A injection. Just turn your lips inward and suck them between your teeth. See how your frown lines and hanging jowls magically disappear? Dont forget to grin!
Start by holding that pose for a minute, then double
the time each following day. Friends and relatives will be wide-eyed upon beholding the new smooth-faced you. Send away for our lipstick application instructions and tips on how to converse with less of a lisp.
Don't over do it though.
[skinflaps, Jan 19 2005]
||That wath a great powthting [FJ]!
||Won't all the tightening and loosening make your skin saggier?
||It sounds like you're not sucking hard enough.
||Oh don't worry [FJ], I really thuck hard....
||Wait...you're still talking about the post, right?
||Day 1: 1 minute
Day 2: 2 minutes
Day 3: 4 minutes
Day 4: 8 minutes
Day 5: 16 minutes
Day 6: 32 minutes
Day 7: 1 hour 4 minutes
Day 8: 2 hours 8 minutes
Day 9: 4 hours 16 minutes
Day 10: 8 hours 32 minutes
Day 11: 17 hours 4 minutes
Day 12: I really hope it's working by then...