Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Das Boots

foot subs for dry complexion, aquatic mobility
  (+2)
(+2)
  [vote for,
against]

Whether head skiing in the pool, trolling or commuting to Manhattan, you’ll enjoy your duck’s-eye-view while cruising the shallows at neck-breaking speeds of up to five knots.

Das Boots are maneuverable, neutrally buoyant pedi-torpedoes that propel you, submerged to the neck, leaving mere swimmers swamped in your wake. The motor craft are compact and powerful since they don’t need to float and balance your body.

Limited special offer: a hardened-glass, prow-shaped, facemask for breaking the ice during winter skinny dips.

FarmerJohn, Aug 14 2003

head skiing sketch http://www.geocitie...hnnie/dasboots.html
[FarmerJohn, Oct 21 2004]

After Waugs gets a hold of him http://bz.pair.com/fun/dasbrokenboots.jpg
25kb -- FarmerJohn, O! please forgive me for I could not find within myself the resistance. I have sullied your art for my cheap pleasure. Yeah, I know, it should be [jutta] with the broken legs. [bristolz, Oct 21 2004]

[link]






       Interesting. But I would recommend making it a platform, and adding a steering rod. Without something to hold onto, cigar-smoking Johnnie will be tilted backwardss instead of forwards, and taking in significant quantities of sea water via the nose.   

       And you could call it the Seagway...
DrCurry, Aug 14 2003
  

       The cigar is a nice touch.   

       He needs to be holding a martini, too, you know.
bristolz, Aug 14 2003
  

       kind of defeats the purpose of swimming?
crispee, Aug 14 2003
  

       Priceless and classic, FJ. I'll give you 9 croissants for this one. (Okay, I owe you 8.)
waugsqueke, Aug 14 2003
  

       I'd like it to come with some sort of boat-shaped neckwear. +
custardlove, Aug 14 2003
  

       you could have an adapter for sitting, so you could lounge while "swimming"
crispee, Aug 14 2003
  

       If I ever find out which bastard voted against this I swear I'll break their legs.
waugsqueke, Aug 14 2003
  

       I'll be in contact, jutta, to make further arrangements for the leg breaking.
waugsqueke, Aug 14 2003
  

       Another classic.
sufc, Aug 14 2003
  

       [jutta] And I who thought I was so clever to think up a ‘punny’ title. Imagine the abs-olutely wonderful tummy one would develop, learning to master these.   

       [bris] Ha ha ha! You can sully my art any time; resistance is futile. These links look like the beginning of an animation, “Das Boots ist Made für und Boner”.
FarmerJohn, Aug 15 2003
  

       . . . and bonin's what they'll do . . .
bristolz, Aug 15 2003
  

       Don't know whether to + or -.   

       There isn't some way I could give half a bone, is there?
galukalock, Aug 15 2003
  

       Well, for that matter, you could do a solo...wait. I'm posting that.
galukalock, Aug 15 2003
  
      
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