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Dazzle Pattern Clothing

Here, put this on.
 
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Human beings generally don't naturally come in the idealized shapes projected by most fashion magazines.

A decent sartorial use for the optical obfuscation known as a "dazzle pattern" - a design that messes with some of the brain's mechanisms for inferring an object's size, shape and distance - would be to put it where it would do the most good - over a beer belly or too large/small butt - to allow the viewer's mind to fill in the blanks in a hopefully more pleasing manner.

It's an extension of the fashion guidelines' "black is slimming" and "vertical/horizontal stripes are slimming/fattening".

"Does this make my butt look big ?"
"I... I can't tell."
"Good answer."

(there are some existing t-shirt dazzle-camo print patterns, but the effect isn't focused in any useful fashion)

FlyingToaster, Nov 06 2015

Dazzle Camo https://en.wikipedi...i/Dazzle_camouflage
[FlyingToaster, Nov 06 2015]

Some tops http://www.inknburn...search_query=dazzle
[FlyingToaster, Nov 06 2015]

Retroreflective pinstripes Retroreflective_20pinstripes
[hippo, Nov 06 2015]

[link]






       //Human beings generally don't naturally come in the idealized shapes projected by most fashion magazines.// Actually, I can imagine that many men naturally come in the idealized shapes projected by most fashion magazines.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 06 2015
  

       [MB] My proofreader is off this week: mental stress or accumulated vacation time or somesuch twaddle.
FlyingToaster, Nov 06 2015
  

       II was thinking of this for zebras, as the current pattern doesn't seem to work too well.
not_morrison_rm, Nov 07 2015
  

       Vertical stripes seem to work well for tigers.   

       // Human beings generally don't naturally come in the idealized shapes //   

       Nothing that a bit of thoughtful work with a very sharp knife can't fix, shirley ?
8th of 7, Nov 07 2015
  

       The "Classic Tabby" cat pattern is sortof dazzly.
FlyingToaster, Nov 07 2015
  

       I've spent a lot of time considering the best way to not appear fat. As far as I have been able to discover, by dint of extensive research, the most effective way is to be somewhere else.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 07 2015
  

       It's not just for fat, some people complain about being too skinny, or having no ass.
FlyingToaster, Nov 07 2015
  

       Those people should be moderately beaten up.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 07 2015
  

       Yes, but they do pay full fare on the transit.
FlyingToaster, Nov 07 2015
  

       If you really want to lose weight, go take the overnight bus to Amsterdam without your bank card. You will then get dumped at train station which only takes plastic, the ensuing 2 to 3 hours hike to the city centre, with luggage, I lost about 2kg...as too knackered to go to restaurant, fell asleep woke up in time for the morning flight...
not_morrison_rm, Nov 07 2015
  
      
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