Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Dizziness Bar

"Come for the dizziness. Stay for the bean bags."
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It would be safe to say you're stressed. Long day on the job, wife, husband, kids, chinchillas, whatever. I give you the dizziness bar. Some people consider themselves too "dignified" to spin like dervishes in public, so there would be private rooms as well as an area for the "undignified."

As you step out of the street onto the revolving door which carries you into the cloistered place, you notice a sudden rush of colors which makes your retinas squirm. Stripes are painted up and down the walls, narrowing as they reach the domed ceiling and joining at the apex. They swirl with what seems to be a life of their own, and you realize that they are issuing from a hidden projector in the apex which is rotating counterclockwise at a steady rate. At the outside edges, toward the walls, plush bean bags, pillows, comforters, and generally soft things to flop on litter the floor. In a Hobbitish hallway which branches off to your left, you notice an oxygen bar and some red velvet benches molded into the wall. This is to put you in a state of pre-spinning clarity of mind and relaxation. Dispensers of hot coffee and tea hang at the end of the hallway, steaming into the provided cups. Pay your fee to a silly proprietor, sign a standard "at my own risk" contract, and leave your shoes and jewelry in the cubbies provided. Strap on a soft foam sort of life jacket which will make human collisions more pleasurable. Clutching your roomy vomit bag in one hand, take your pick of the rotating discs set into the floor at regular intervals; they are marked from 1-4 according to their average speed. These discs follow automatic 30-second repeated cycles of acceleration, beginning at a low speed and gradually accelerating faster, ending in a climax by which time you probably will have gone stumbling to the bean bags. Enjoy!

monk, Aug 31 2007

Yet another kind of spinner http://www.sln.org.uk/re/whirling.htm
[normzone, Oct 12 2007]

[link]






       + Excellent.
fridge duck, Aug 31 2007
  

       I would have called this: "Has Beans, will travel" First class +
xenzag, Aug 31 2007
  

       I keep reading this as dizziness bear for some reason.
po, Sep 01 2007
  

       Thank you Mr monk. A blessing on your house.
the dog's breakfast, Sep 01 2007
  

       Thank you, breakfast.
monk, Sep 02 2007
  

       "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on" Dean Martin.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Sep 02 2007
  

       i like this one. but then i would; i'm a spinner. +
k_sra, Oct 10 2007
  

       //you notice a sudden rush of colors which makes your retinas squirm//   

       'Hello barkeep, I'm trying but I can't seem to get my retinas to squirm' . . . 'Here drink this' . . . 'Aaaaahhhhhggg - hey not bad'.
Brett-Blob, Oct 12 2007
  

       To add to the experience, rather than just having stripes painted on the wall, make the walls into screens that show moving stripes or movies of aerial shots from airplanes to throw you off balence from the moment you walk into the door. Dizzyness lasts only for a short time but if you create the illusion that they are still dizzy they will think that its better than getting drunk... although I am sure some folks would probably get drunk before going to the Dizzy Bar.
Jscotty, Oct 12 2007
  

       Like it. I hate having to wait for the carnies to come through for my next Tilt-a-Whirl fix.
elhigh, Oct 12 2007
  

       [k_sra], I cannot let your comment go unremarked. Remarkable 8-)
normzone, Oct 12 2007
  

       wheeeeee! i'm partial to elevators though.
k_sra, Oct 12 2007
  

       does this bar serve alchol? If so, bun
evilpenguin, Oct 13 2007
  

       Aw [k_sra], remember the old monkey blog? Those were the days.
Worldgineer, Oct 13 2007
  
      
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