Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Dog vs Cat Debate

Who's got the best grasp of today's issues?
  [vote for,

The rivalry between these two animals taken to the next level.

Both are seated at their podiums that are equipped with "translation" buttons. The issues are simplified into languages that cats or dogs can understand. The "question" is posed in the form of a treat being offered or not offered. If the animal hits the "Dispense treat" button, they've answered in the affirmative.

So a typical translation might be "Should the U.S. not impose trade sanctions on other countries that seek to undercut American manufacturers if those countries (through proxy donors) are financial contributors to your campaign?" The answer to this question is simplified as "Do you want a treat?" YES or NO?

Next question: "Should we have open borders that will assist your party by swelling the voter rolls in your favor and lower wages paid to unskilled workers making you and other upper class cats/dogs like you richer?" ("Do you want a treat?" YES or NO?)

Further, this idea could be modified for human debates in that there could be a sign above the politician showing a number and ringing a cash register sound when that politician extols the virtue of various plans they support.

"I completely support drug companies right to pay doctors to prescribe highly addictive opioids that have no success at all in treating long term pain issues!" (sign above debator) KA-CHING! "$175,000 CAMPAIGN DONATION!"

Debates are an important way to work out the problems society faces. This would make them more fun. Plus dogs and cats are cuter than humans and you could even dress them up in little suits and ties.

doctorremulac3, Feb 11 2018


       The cats would boycott out of lack of interest.
RayfordSteele, Feb 11 2018

       // ties //   

       We like making little neckties for cats; we use only the very best quality hemp rope (actually, thick cord), and each necktie comes with a handcrafted oak gibbet with certificate of authenticity.
8th of 7, Feb 11 2018

       We like having debates about whether dogs (which are delicious in the Orient) could provide future food security for America. The debate can centre around which breed of dog has the most meat, and which is tastiest compared to horse.   

       I'd say dachshunds are pretty much exempt from becoming food security, due to their ridiculously miniaturised size, and their penchant for eating anything including things even a goat wouldn't touch. They might make good sausages, if it wasn't for all the bones...But they're notoriously tricky to breed, owing to their notorious gender orientation issues, as well as species confusion. (Half the time, they don't know whether they're dogs or cats). I'd elaborate on this point, but there is a dachsie- cross-jack russell -or dasch-russell, if you prefer- trying to weasel it's way between me and my ipad at this moment, so I desist. I'm tempted to bite her, or give her a tight smack accross her chops, but her exaggerated squeals would alert her owners, who invariably blame ME every time one of her misdemeanours results in such a tiff with her - the little bitch! Ok, she's gone...I'll elaborate after all. How Dachsies can think they are cats is a mystery to me, as they have no sense of balance or poise, and no idea of how to clean themselves, except for their most intimate parts, which they do incessantly, much to the disgust of felines everywhere.   

       Saint Bernards look like a good choice for bulk and tenderness, while Pitbull flesh would probably make an excellent pulled-pork substitute for schwarmas at pool parties. I imagine Rottweilers would provide good loin and rump steaks, while Bull Terriers would provide excellent biltong, or beef jerky substitute... Chow tongue, with it's exotic purple colouring, could make a suitable form of sushi substitute, while labrador tongues might be a good source of ox-tongue-like steaks. (Dachshund tongues, with their pathetic size, would just not cut it in this department, and besides, as I said before, they use them only to clean their fannies and willies, so they'd have to be bleached and sterilised to be fit for consumption by any living organism besides amoeba and bacteria.)   

       Dobermans, on the other paw, would be great for on-the- bone roasts and spit-braai's...   

       mmmm...doggone it I'm hungry!
Edie, Feb 15 2018


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