I would like a row of small, red, rubber bulbs on the inside of the door. Each would have a label with white text on black background in etched plastic or enamel with names like “cow” or “dog” or “reindeer”. Squeezing a bulb would produce (probably electronically) the utterance of that particular beast.

Even my passengers would appreciate being able to talk to others during an outing. A slight pressure on a bulb would result in a reverent animal whisper to salute sighted road kill. Owners of Volvos and Saabs might be surprised to hear the “nöff” of a pig, the “vov vov” of a dog, the “krax” of a crow, the “kvack” of a frog and a rooster’s “kuckeliku”.