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Domestic Electricity Confusing Randomiser

Scrambler for your home electricty
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Now that it has been revealed that the CIA has been spying on people by examining the modulations of their return electricity signal (this story is breaking news today GMT), no one should be without a Domestic Electricity Confusing Randomiser.

I for one do not want some dark suited, anonymous agent knowing how often I use my kettle, or open and close my fridge, by scanning my electricity, and then probably using this information to start up another war.

My Domestic Electricity Confusing Randomiser puts an end to all of this intrusion, by interjecting random usage into the voltage wave returns.

It extracts its confusion algorithm by examining the brownian type movement of two different varieties of tadpoles held in a remote location, and relaying this by a secure internet signal to the device.

Negative electricity enters the device, and is flicker randomised by the deviated rotating magnets. Some electrons are stripped away, but delay returned, corrupting the signal into a fool attracting interdiction.

Agents will no longer be able to tell with any clarity how many holes there are in your swiss cheese by measuring the responses from your fridge, for example, or how much toast you eat, by auditing your toaster returns.

As a bonus, the Domestic Electricity Confusing Randomiser can also counter the effects of Dirty Electricity (see links)

In addition 10zag Devices are developing the sister products: Happy Wires; Silence of the Amps and Maxwell's Electricity Detergent.

For further reading please consult: Measuring the Hidden Undercurrent or The Electron and the Banana Counter by Hairmaster and Himple (not their real names) both former CIA electricity spooks.

xenzag, Apr 01 2008

Dirty electricity http://findarticles...200612/ai_n17192754
how clean is yours ? [xenzag, Apr 01 2008]

Training Camp Uncloaked http://www2.fi.edu/...ield-trips/spy.html
this is where they learn their dastardly skills [xenzag, Apr 01 2008]

They're stealing your electricity! http://www.homeland...city-to-spy-on-you/
...and you don't believe they examine it once it's been intercepted? [xenzag, Apr 01 2008]

Filter assembly for eliminating mains disturbances http://www.freepate...ne.com/4511847.html
a puny imitator, that does very little [xenzag, Apr 01 2008]

[link]






       No, no. I think that raising baby frogs will not disturb the profile of the heat signature that I THINK they use to figure out if you are growing THC in your attic. If you can convice me otherwise, I shall change my vote.
Zimmy, Apr 01 2008
  

       those dastardly spooks! what next, intelligence-gathering on our bathroom habits by measuring water mains? 'Mr Anderson...by day, you have a respectable job; by night, you leave your tap running while you brush your teeth. Shame on you.' I like the Brownian tadpoles, but would the randomised flicker be enough to fully mask a 5kw kettle? Howabout a room full of chimpanzees with sundry electrical appliances, triggering them at random?
navel-gazer, Apr 01 2008
  

       The Urban myth, in the 70s, was that the TV detector vans in the UK could tell which channel you were watching.
Ling, Apr 01 2008
  

       No doubt this latest breaking of covert protocols will be dismissed in the same manner [Ling]'s example was 30-some years ago.
4whom, Apr 01 2008
  

       A few months ago, some academics here reported being able to decode what people were seeing on their monitors in the same way. The spy agencies usually do seem to get there first.   

       I always pity the poor steganographer trying to decipher hlafbakery posts.
DrCurry, Apr 01 2008
  

       It only works one day of the year. [marked-for-expiry]
xenzag, Apr 01 2008
  

       And even then only intermittently...
4whom, Apr 01 2008
  

       April fool is dead and gone, and I'm the fool for carrying on.....
xenzag, Apr 02 2008
  
      
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