h a l f b a k e r y
I CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?
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Have you ever wanted to make a really good first impression? Want to impress a blind date or show off at the next office meeting?
Now you can with the Dramatic Entrance Service!
For a reasonable hourly fee the Dramatic Entrance Service will follow you around and make sure your presence
The standard package includes an official announcer who will enter a room before you and read from a large scroll your titles, accomplishments and any other fluff you'd like him to.
For an additional fee your entrance may be accompanied by a musical selection of your choice played by a small, mobile marching band.
Clients may select various accessories ranging from dark, ominous capes with large, well starched collars, all the way to a royal orb and Scepter package for the royally inclined.
A Dove release is also available for first class clients.
Additional services include the ever popular "Darth Supervisor" package where your boss or supervisor at the office is followed around by a small squad of Stormtroopers and the mobile band, which is continuously playing the "Imperial March".
Cult leaders, and prophets of pseudo-religions should inquire about our discount holier-than-thou package with includes spotlights for that holy aura and a complete angelic choir.
Re: people followed around by marching bands. [jutta, Sep 02 2007]
Halfbakery: Puff of Smoke Car Door
You may want to use this. [jutta, Sep 02 2007]
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||It would help to have your own lighting team.
||I'd like to rappel through a large window from a helicopter. Does the service cover damages and lawsuits?
||[+] I like it, especially the Darth Supervisor idea. I'd also suggest the Don HR Manager service on which you can have your HR Manager followed around by a bunch of Italian-American wiseguys, with a small restaurant band playing the theme from Godfather, intimidating new recruits.
||"Eh, woe, you call this an RTS report? You call this an RTS report, ha? Eh, I'm talkin' to you. What are you frikkin' deaf? Ha? What am I, a freakin' shrink over here? I'm talkin to a frikkin' mute Paulie. Wha'the fu'? Yeah yous better write it over, else I'll shove this report so far up yer asse you'll be shitting out all the tax deductible expensives we've incurred from last quarter until the end of the financial year. F*ckin' shmuck."
||Unbeknown to Hank, his arch-rival for the much-coveted promotion, Frank, had outbid him; on Hank's entry to the boardroom, the DES would be playing the theme tune from the Muppet Show...
||But it's not going to do ol' Hank any favours, especially when he requested "Fanfare for the Common Man" and some dry ice effects.. Instead he's going to get Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem with Scooter and Fozzy telling jokes.
||Bordey bordey bord. Bork! Bork! Bork!
||no he's not. he's going to get a rousing fanfare of "it's time to start the music, it's time to light the lights...!" and everyone in the room will be caught up in a swelling nostalgia and generosity. i think this plan could backfire on Frank, if he's not careful!