h a l f b a k e r y
This is what happens when one confuses "random" with "profound."
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This is a Star Wars themed bar, with robot waiters (R2 units with
basic programming inspired by Roombas. They roll up to the bar
the requested drinks inside a locked cooler and display the price on
digital readout, then function like a mobile vending machine. Insert
door opens) and a fully costumed cantina band,
alternating between Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes & the Max
Band. Occasionally, there are breaks with a single, softly playing Jizz
wailer keeping tune for a Twi'Lek dancer.
Each booth has several power outlets where patrons can
charge their mobile devices. Chargers of every kind (except iPhone
dock connectors) are available for rent at the bar. Food would be of
a Star Wars nature, of course... nerf steaks, ronto burgers, fillet of
dewback, Kowakian Monkey-lizard fingers, dianoga tentacles, rancor
If an iPhone, iPod, or Mac Book user walks in, a surly-looking
bartender says in a gruff
voice "we don't serve their kind here." If the startled would-be
asks what he means, he replies "your Apples, they'll have to wait
Of course, you don't really have to choose between leaving it
outside or finding another venue... but the free Wi-Fi is available for
'Droids (Android smartphones and tablets) only. All others (not just
Apple devices) must pay. Apple users simply pay a little bit more.
Not The Droids You're Looking For, Modern Edition
[theircompetitor, Oct 26 2011]
Not saying it HAS to be alcohol free, either... but the alcohol is not the main draw of this place. Just a social hangout kinda place. [21 Quest, Oct 27 2011]
||Good luck getting Lucas to sign off on that one. A family-
oriented restaurant, maybe, but he's too savvy to directly
associate his franchise with alchohol.
||Doesn't have to serve alcohol... could be a cantina-themed
restaurant for all I care, it's not the menu that counts here.
||Ah, I see. According to recent ground-breaking studies, I
was misled by the word 'bar' in the description.
||Why no Apple devices? Is it supposed to be a
dystopian theme where technology exists but is
||It's a play on a scene from Episode 4, when Luke and Obiwan
first enter the Mos Eisley Cantina. The bartender says "we don't
serve their kind here!". Luke gets a perplexed look on his face
and the bartender clarifies: "Your droids, they'll have to wait
|| That said, I think an operating system with more capability, a
MUCH larger market share, and yes, a few bugs still needing to
be worked out (but don't get me started on the bugs I've found
in the new iPhones) would fit perfectly in a Star Wars setting.
|| Apple products are (mostly) reliable.... you can always count on
them to limit your capability and find ways to take your money.
||Just out of curiousity, , do you drive a Ford?
||As long as you will never find a more wretched hive
of scum and villainy, it will be fine, even if it doesn't
||You must be cautious... a non-canon character such as yourself
might just fit in even better than you think. We've never had a
Borg on staff before.
||The funny thing about Star Trek characters is that they'd
fit just fine into the Star Wars universe, yet for some
reason very few Trekkers seem to accept that the opposite
might be true as well.
||Hmm... Klingon vs. Wookie matches would be interesting.
||I don't think it's the fitting in that Trekkies object to... it's the
question of fitting where? The idea that Jim Kirk might actually
meet his match if he tried to take on a Sith or a Jedi, or indeed a
Wookie, using simple mind games and Judo, really gets their
panties in a bunch and they start
screaming 'MFD magic'. It's the idea that Star Trek technology
MAY (and I'm not saying it would or wouldn't) find itself
outmatched, and indeed overwhelmed, by the technology of the
Star Wars universe.
|| I do think it would be interesting watching a business transaction
between a Ferengi and a Toydarian, and I think the Klingons
would be a better match for the Yuuzhan Vong than the
Wookies. The Borg Collective vs Ssi Ruuvi Imperium would be
||That's the problem with trying to compare unapologetic
space opera with a series that diligently tries to be hard
sci-fi but routinely misses the mark. Star Trek has an
intrinsic identity crisis, whereas Star Wars is perfectly
comfortable with its 'just go with it' fuzzy areas.
|| The Ssi Ruuvi were a fluke; farbeit for me to criticize
another writer's dream (except that's pretty much standard
practice for us), but _Truce at Bakura_ should have been
torpedoed in the concept stage. As for the Yuzhan Vong,
well, that whole series was pretty much a well-funded but
ultimately failed attempt to re-boot the novel franchise.
Better to re-visit the established eras from new and
different angles than to draw the timeline out far beyond
||I dunno, I thought the concept of an extra-galactic invading force
was kinda neat. I still don't see why it was necessary to kill off
key characters like Chewie though... and you want to be careful
revisiting themes of the past. They've done that, writing
countless backstories like 'loyalties', 'Millenium Falcon', and that
one about the painting that took place back in the same time as
||No expanded franchise is immune to duds and fizzles. I'm
thinking of the short story compilations, Shadows of the
Empire, and various explorations of the Clone Wars and Old
Republic eras. Those are the strongest continuations of the
franchise, to my eye.
||//would fit perfectly in a Star Wars setting//
|| Oh, I get it. The good guys would have used Macs.
||No, the good guys would be running the bar. It would be staffed
with Rebel sympathizers helping the good guys hide from the
Stormtrooper patrols. The stormtroopers would be using iPads.
||I didnt realise there was a diference between Star War and Star Trex, I thought one was an episode of the other. Wasn't Lucas Skywalker the captain of the Enteprise?
||Well if the naming convention works like music CDs, then the
Star Track is simply one chapter of the greater Star Wars album.
||[Wasn't Lucas Skywalker the captain of the Enteprise?]
|| Uh, I think you're mixing that up with another popular sci-fi character: Benny Gesserit, a bespectacled Egyptologist who ends up fighting the evil House Harkonnen after his journey through the Stargate.