Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
This would work fine, except in terms of success.

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Drum Solo Washing Machine

wash clothes and create drum solos
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Most washing machines are quite noisy, delivering a variety of sounds during the process of their wash, rinse, spin and dry cycles. It seems to me that the powerful motor could also harnessed to drive a mechanical drum machine, capable of creating the range of sounds and rhythms characteristic of all drum solos.

The drum machine would consist of a miniaturised kit, built into the washing machine's body, with the resulting output being processed and amplified to ensure it emerged via hidden speakers sounding like a real musician was pounding on the snares/symbols/tom toms etc, instead of the tiny mechanical cam and rod driven arms.

As an example: For a large long wash, one would select something like "Toad", by the wonderful Ginger Baker. Setting the wash time, temperature, and other options would also effect the timings and cadence of the resulting drum solo. As the machine stores many musician and drum types, an infinite number of permutations can be created, meaning that no two washing machine drum solos are ever exactly the same. The variations can be further modulated by additional controls such as "Frantic", "Africanised", "Bluenote", "Jazzified". All tastes are catered for in the world of drum solos.

Note - this washing machine is not suitable for apartment dwellers who have people living underneath them.

xenzag, Sep 22 2017

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