Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Eariscompettero & eariscompat

Periscope ear trumpet bolero & matching hat
  (+5, -1)
(+5, -1)
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against]

This multifunction garment keeps you warm, enables easy conversation between tall people and short people, and looks damn stylish to boot.

The eariscompettero is a bolero style garment, in the form of a heavy fabric disc with a hole in the centre. A tall person puts their head through the hole, and the edges fall to hand/waist level.

Earpieces are attached to the collar, which come up and insert into the wearer’s ears. These are connected by tapering tubes down to a ring of 4”diameter trumpet bells which form a decorative fringe at the bottom of the garment.

Whenever anyone short speaks to the wearer, the sound goes into the trumpet bell and is carried to their ears.

But how will the short person hear the response, I almost didn't hear you say? Well, they will be wearing the eariscompat, which is the matching hat. This consists of a radial array of trumpet bells mounted atop a tall pointed hat. They similarly feed down into earpieces. Anyone wearing this will clearly hear tall people speaking to them.

Penquin, I said, not penguin!

pocmloc, Dec 04 2011

Illustration https://picasaweb.g...vtA?feat=directlink
Duly provided. [pocmloc, Dec 04 2011]

not sure why this reminds me of the lorax, but... http://www.cise.ufl...cjermain/thneed.htm
[swimswim, Dec 11 2011]

[link]






       This is excellent, and a far more stylish than my solution of simply lifting short people up so I can talk face to face.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 04 2011
  

       [+] Badly needs an illustration. Pity Theodore Giesel's unavailable.   

       Edit: Thank you. Especially like how the tall guy's barefoot, while the short one's wearing heels.
mouseposture, Dec 04 2011
  

       But what happens when a mischeivious midget walks up and shouts into my sleeve? Then I'll be in the uncomfortable position of having to catch and beat seven kinds of hell out of a midget while temporarily deafened!
Alterother, Dec 04 2011
  

       It occurs to me that the size of the trumpet bell actually needs to be carefully matched to the audio losses in the plumbing, so that it neither aplifies nor attenuates the sound. I guessed 4” in the idea text, but I think smaller might be better with multiple horns.   

       It should be no more problematic than when a nasty normalsizer comes up and shouts in your lugole.
pocmloc, Dec 04 2011
  

       Yes, but beating the bluddy buhjeezus out of any old traditionally-proportioned dipshit is more socially acceptable than beating up a little person.
Alterother, Dec 04 2011
  

       I wish we had an unbakery, and ideas like this could be moved there, leaving genuinely halfbaked ideas here.
white, Dec 10 2011
  

       //bolero// Poncho?
spidermother, Dec 10 2011
  

       The title - why?
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 10 2011
  

       [MB] I think it's a peculiarly formed portmanteau of the subtitle.
csea, Dec 10 2011
  

       Interesting question, [spidermother].
pocmloc, Dec 11 2011
  

       // Poncho // Banjo?
Alterother, Dec 12 2011
  
      
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