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More rational and evidence-based than astrology
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This idea is for a belief system, like astrology, based on the premise that the characteristics of the chemical element symbols which make up your name tell you important things about your personality. Examples are below, with hints to show you how Elementology works. The next step is to refine the system a bit and then make millions syndicating it to daily newspapers with gullible readerships:

La.U.Re.N.Ce: Lanthanum(57), Uranium(92), Rhenium(75), Nitrogen(7), Cerium(58) – You are changeable and adaptable which comes from the soft, ductile properties of Lanthanum. Your personality is made up of opposites - you can be dangerous and unwanted (Uranium) but also vital to the lives of others (Nitrogen). You are a conduit for others' feelings (superconducting Rehenium) and unusual (rare, like Cerium).

S.I.Mo.N: Sulphur(16), Iodine(53), Molybdenum(42), Nitrogen(7) – Somewhat jaundiced in your views (yellow, like Sulphur), you are volatile (Iodine), but have a high anger threshold (Molybdenum's high melting point). You are also stable and a vital part of people's lives (Nitrogen).

S.Am: Sulphur(16), Americium(95) – Cynical, jaundiced (Sulphur) and dangerous (Americium) to know, no one likes you.

Ca.Th.Er.I.Ne: Calcium(20), Thorium(90), Erbium(68), Iodine(53), Neon(10) – You're a rock (Calcium), clear and transparent (Erbium, used in glass-making) and admirably self-sufficient (Neon is a noble gas), but with an touch of volatility (Iodine) and danger (Thorium).

Os.C.Ar: Osmium(76), Carbon(6), Argon(18) – You are precious and highly-valued (Osmium), stable (Argon) and life-affirming to all (Carbon).
hippo, Jul 25 2012

Let's see if I can do mine... http://www.chemicalelements.com/
[normzone, Jul 26 2012]

The Forer Effect, and "Barnum Statements" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forer_effect
[hippo, Aug 02 2012]


       This could work. Ma -X - ah, hang on a second.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 25 2012

       // The next step is to refine the system a bit and then make millions syndicating it to daily newspapers with gullible readerships //   

       We like that bit the best [+]
8th of 7, Jul 25 2012

       Great! Who do I pay?
pocmloc, Jul 25 2012

       I love the idea, but I can't spell my name (given, middle, andor sur-) using the existing table. Am I allowed to make up some elements and stick them between 56 and 72 to fill in the gaps?
Alterother, Jul 25 2012

       that's easy, value of each letter in the alphabet in the first name, then use a rounding down system to get values in the 1 to 103 values.   

       For example, Ann is 15, 64, 64 which is boron, gadolinium, so Ann is not very exciting but not prone to shock, she is often overlooked, but likes to care of people around her (wikipedia -Gadolinium as a metal or salt has exceptionally high absorption of neutrons and therefore is used for shielding in neutron radiography).   

       I expect the cheque in the post...
not_morrison_rm, Jul 26 2012

       Dimitri Mendeleev.
8th of 7, Jul 26 2012

       //For example, Ann is 15, 64, 64// - sorry, can you explain how you got "15, 64, 64"?
hippo, Jul 26 2012

       //Couldn't spell my first or middle name. Who do I contact to get my refund?//   

       Ummm either your teachers or your parents?
AusCan531, Jul 26 2012

       //sorry, can you explain how you got "15, 64, 64"?// Certainly! A 6 week correspondence course in Elementology will cost you £599. Sign up now by sending your non-returnable 20% deposit, and a place will be reserved for you on the waiting list.
pocmloc, Jul 26 2012

       Easy. a is 1, b is 2 etc so a should be helium...but there are 100+ elements and only 26 letters, is we don't mention the schwa, so I had to multiply the alphabetical letter values by a suitable factor, which I don't remember..
not_morrison_rm, Aug 01 2012

       Maybe I'm being thick, but does [not_morrison_rm]'s explanation make sense to anyone else?
hippo, Aug 01 2012

       Yes, but that's because I paid £599 for a 6 week correspondence course in Elementology.
calum, Aug 01 2012

       //I paid £599 for a 6 week correspondence course in Elementology   

       Used £10 notes, in an envelope, to a PO Box in Wigan, please..   

       I digress. Ok, you have two sets of numbers, one ranges from 1 to 26 we call that the alphabet. The other set of numbers is 1 to more than 100 (I'm too idle to look up how many elements there are). So how to make them line up, in a very crude way? Divide number of elements by 26. Then use that number, let's call it the factor.   

       With me so far?   

       So, in my very poor example "a" has a value of one, it is then multiplied by the factor and I got 15. Element 15 is boron. The very obvious flaw is that by multiplying up values, inevitably you end up gaps, for example if "a" is 15, then the previous 14 elements are never going to get a look in.   

       In retrospect, the best way to do this would be just to add up the alphabetical values of the first name, in Ann's case this is 143, which doesn't exist, (at this point I got bored enough to look up the periodic table) so we effectively get to 118 and then continue the count, so we end up with 143-118=25. element 25 is Manganese, so her first element is that.   

       We then start on her second name, Smith. Which is 19, 13, 9, 20, 8. This tots up to 69 which is a less than 118, so it's easier. Element 69 is Thulium (which I've never heard of before in my life.   

       The greater puzzle to me is why I am bothering to type this at 11:07pm when surely I could find something better to do with my time.
not_morrison_rm, Aug 01 2012

       Too cryptological and too logical. How about this.   

       The month you were born in is the atomic number of your birth element. This determines what we call your "nuclear emotional element" - in other words, the inner you.   

       The day of the month you were born on determines your "valence personality" - in other words, the you you project to the world. People whose nuclear emotional element is the same as their valence personality (eg, born on 02/02) have a special inner harmony. Those whose valence and nuclear elements fall in the same period of the table again have inner harmony. People whose valence and nuclear elements are reactive when mixed (eg 01/07) are always anxious and conflicted.   

       The last two digits of the year you were born in determine your body element. Body elements decide your physical strength, health and resilience. Again, those whose body elements are identical to (or in the same period as) their nuclear or valence elements have special qualities.   

       OK, now we need some daily variation so:   

       There is the lunar element. Its atomic number is between 1 and 28, depending on the number of days since the last new moon. The lunar element is nothing to do with your date of birth - it is the same for everyone and of course changes from one day to the next. The reactivity of today's lunar element towards your nuclear, valence and body elements determine what will happen to you on that day. For example, if your nuclear element is hydrogen (1) and today's lunar element is fluorine (9), then you can expect a day of turbulent inner emotions (since H reacts strongly with F). On the other hand, if your body element is also fluorine, then you can expect good health and a lessening of any ongoing symptoms. Etc.   

       Lastly, some long-term trends. The atomic number of the decade element is given by the number of decades since Feburary 8th 1834 (so, for example, Feb 8th 1834 through Feb 7th 1844 were hydrogen; 1844 through 1855 were helium etc). The reactivity of these elements towards your nuclear, valence and body elements affect long-term trends in your life. The also interact with the day's lunar element, of course. Their influence waxes and wanes over the course of the decade, with the greatest influence being toward the middle of their decade.   

       It will be appreciated that there is some pressure to continue discovering new elements, to postpone the Great Day of Exothermy when we run out of decade elements. This is currently due to happen in the first decades of the next millenium.   

       There ya go. There's enough complexity in there to sustain a thriving industry run by failed chemists or astrologers wishing to diversify.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 01 2012

       easy peasy.
po, Aug 02 2012

       <takes bait>OK, why Feburary 8th 1834?</takes bait>
hippo, Aug 02 2012

       Mendeleev's birthday.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 02 2012

       Ah, of course. I like the long-term trend, and particularly the idea of the influence of these waxing and waning - explaining the complexity of being born on the cusp of Aluminium and Silicon, for example, will keep Elementologists in business for ever. I'm not sure about "decades since Feburary 8th 1834" - that sounds a bit made-up and without the right amount of hard, evidence-based pseudo-science behind it. I'd be happier with the long-term cycle element's period being the elements atomic weight taken in lunar cycles. So we start off in February 1834 and the first 1.0074 lunar cycles are "Hydrogen", the next 4.002602 lunar cycles are "Helium", the next 6.942 lunar cycles are "Lithium" and so on. After "Curium" (the last real element) you start counting down again. A key principle of advanced Elementology will be to look at how far you are from "Iron" which is a stable point on the Nuclear Binding Energy curve - i.e. the ultimate product of both fission and fusion reactions.
hippo, Aug 02 2012

       //There is the lunar element.//   

AusCan531, Aug 02 2012

       ...also, one of the great things about astrology is its ability to generate "Barnum statements" (see link) by having multiple, contradictory, predictive methods. A simple example - an astrologer might say "Ah you're a Capricorn - Capricorns are always happy and optimistic - unless of course Saturn is in Aries, then you'll be miserable". These contradictory findings allow people to pick and choose and to be impressed when this selective approach results in a prediction which fits them. Thus, I think Elementology needs more complexity, to provide these contradictory predictions which we will use to dupe the gullible and suggestible.
hippo, Aug 02 2012


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