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Expert-Mode Elevators

Otherwise, too much time is wasted waiting for the door to open or close.
  (+8, -1)
(+8, -1)
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A lot of time is wasted in getting from floor to floor because elevators are designed to accommodate the lowest common denominator. That is to say, they prioritize the safety of the youngest, oldest, and most infirm (and there is nothing wrong with putting safety first!). But it would be rather useful if elevators could have an alternate setting, an "expert mode," for people who get around with a bit more of a spring in their step. Of course, one would have to pass a certification course in order to be approved for use of these precision-oriented capabilities.

Expert mode should be activated by a quick waive of a micro-chip-embedded authorization card (sort of like a drivers license for the elevator). Increased functionality should include the ability to open and close doors with a snap, or even to keep the doors open during the ride. And it should include adjustable speeds, because you are the one who should decide how much g-force your body can withstand.

Applicants for an expert mode operators license should probably sign a waiver assuming personal responsibility for any damages to self or others.

swimswim, Jun 20 2009

Lift_2fStairs_20pun...t_2freward_20scheme thought you might like this [swimswim] (naturally it's one of mine) [xenzag, Jun 20 2009]

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       //a quick waive //
<Alec Guinness stylee> These are not the micro-chip-embedded cards you want </ags>
  

       What [21q] said [+]
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jun 20 2009
  

       Ahh, a Darwin Device ... a mechanism designed to weed out the slow, the inattentive, the infirm, the elderly and the stupid. We vote for positive selection pressures in the environment. Excellent. [+]
8th of 7, Jun 20 2009
  

       //elevators are designed to accommodate the lowest common denominator// don't like that type of label- makes me think of this:   

       "First they came for the Communists, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist;   

       And then they came for the trade unionists, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist;   

       And then they came for the Jews, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew;   

       And then... they came for me... And by that time there was no one left to speak up."   

       - I can be serious from time to time you know. This is a bad idea [swimswim]. We should all slow down; make time for those who need it, and enjoy doing so. (adjusts halo after pious rant)
xenzag, Jun 20 2009
  

       The elevator ride is a great place to implement RFID tags, because of the controlled closed space. Perhaps everyone could have a preferred speed, 1 - 10, and based on the outcome of all the passengers' preferences, the elevator goes faster or slower. The ride is as fast as the lowest vote.
daseva, Jun 20 2009
  

       I have to agree that there is still quite a bit of danger lurking in this idea. I didn't notice this until I got the 3-story prototype running at home, and lost a cat to the jocularity.   

       As for the danger of mixed-ability crowds, I think the only solution is to suggest that this is for a niche market; in multi-floor pro-sport locker rooms, or in the homes of young-at-heart millionaires, for example.   

       Also, as xenzag pointed out, "lowest common denominator" probably was a poor choice of words. If I could split my vote, I'd give a quarter fishbone vote to myself as penance.   

       RFID tags, yes! That's a great idea and will cut down on the cost of the license.
swimswim, Jun 20 2009
  

       Paternoster-type elevators would be good for this; rather than having four conventional lifts, why not have one conventional lift and three paternosters of progressively higher speeds, the fastest being almost an athletic event in its own right ?
8th of 7, Jun 20 2009
  

       How about a "sit-down" elevator with C130 style folding seats around the edges (with full shoulder harnesses) which can accelerate at +-5gs?   

       This could be used in places like that new tower in Dubai, where you have scheduled elevator trips and a highly trained operator/bellboy.
DIYMatt, Jun 20 2009
  

       Basically, a chance for Martin-Baker to break into the lucrative elevator market .... ?
8th of 7, Jun 22 2009
  

       I don't mind this idea just as long as it wont cause me to spill my drink.
zen_tom, Jun 22 2009
  

       [zen] Now you're talking! - "The Cocktail Lounge Elevator", with low lights, jazz music, dancing girls and expertly mixed cocktails.
hippo, Jun 22 2009
  

       Mechanism fed Paternosters are the answer. Like a bullet getting fed to a firing chamber. I don't care for vicarious liability. At what cost freedom? A few severed limbs, nay! Arriving three floors up, half the man you once were, nay!   

       Incidentally, we had a " Paternoster incident" a few decades back, in Durban. Unfortunately it was at a bank. Unfortunately that banks *strap-line* was "Come on in a get your slice!" Hilarity ensued, well almost...
4whom, Jun 22 2009
  
      
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