Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Apply directly to forehead.

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Explosive Briefcase

Stop a would-be thief dead in his tracks.
 
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Ever had your briefcase broken in, or just outright stolen? Well this handy attache will make your day! When you need to leave your briefcase unattended simply lay flat, insert your own individual key and turn the lock. This automatically engages an electronic detonator sensitive to any harsh movement (via a mercury switch, or other such device), including moving the case from the lying down position. The briefcase is lined with C-4 plastique explosive. If anyone tries to break into, pick up, or other wise molest your briefcase...Ka-boom!
Apologetic_Cynic, Jan 25 2004

What NOT to do with one of these things http://www.darwinaw...ld/index200311.html
Look for the story "Military Intelligence" [Saruman, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

[link]






       Didn't we do this one? Anyway, good luck with security!
DrCurry, Jan 25 2004
  

       Great idea. Save the terrorists the trouble of making the bomb or having to smuggle it onto a plane.
sufc, Jan 25 2004
  

       Good luck getting on a plane or going into a courthouse with your briefcase in hand.
krelnik, Jan 26 2004
  

       Some of these cases were made for British spies in the seventies, and one of the would-be Bonds also won a Darwin because of them (see link)
Saruman, Jan 26 2004
  

       Ok. You're trying to _keep_ your briefcase, aren't you? So if you blow it up, you won't have it! Besides, it could just be an honest mistake that your briefcase was picked up.
spacecadet, Jan 26 2004
  

       //via a mercury switch// Excellent idea, make it lots of mercury. If the bomb doesn't tear the bastard apart the mercury will poison him.
kbecker, Jan 26 2004
  

       //If the bomb doesn't tear the bastard apart the mercury will poison him.//   

       And ten years later, after everything is forgotten, he goes insane, grows a long beard and starts predicting the end of the world from a beat-up unicycle.
Macwarrior, Feb 15 2004
  

       What if someone bumps into into it, or worse, someone bumps into you as you set the bomb. Don; tforget earthquakes. " Everyone survived the shaking, however, 3 dozen men, women, and children where killed by the ensuing explosions of mercury." Those that did survive, are insane.
Tangora, Dec 19 2005
  
      
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