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Farm Chess

The intellectual farmer's pursuit.
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Farmer Giles stood in his field at one corner of the eight by eight grid of squares that he’d whitewashed onto his land. One hand was resting in the pocket of his muddy Barbour jacket, one hand stroked his chin while he stared intensely out from under the peak of his flatcap. In each square of the row nearest to him stood a pure white animal: a pig, a horse, a sheep, a bull, a cow, a sheep, a horse and a pig again. In the square in front of each animal stood a white goose. Bessie, Farmer Giles’ faithful border collie wandered up and down the ranks like a sergeant, checking that each animal was in it’s place.

Farmer Hodgkins stood at the far end of the board, next to a similar arrangement of black animals. His bobtail sheepdog was inspecting the troops, occasionally rounding a nervous goose back into the exact centre of the square or outflanking a horse that was considering backing off the board.

Farmer Giles put his index finger and thumb into his mouth, gave a high pitched whistle and yelled out “Haway Bess! Pawn to queen four! Good girl! Good girl! Whoa there! Whoa now! Good girl!”. Bessie quickly rounded up the Goose and crouching, drove her forward two squares. The game was afoot, literally.

Farmer John, the arbiter, was sitting behind a desk halfway down the board. As Bess put the goose in position Farmer John pulled a lever on a huge dual faced chess clock that made irregular clanking noises and seemed to be powered by cheese.

wagster, Feb 08 2005

ready to be painted http://www.affordad...com/media/lg927.gif
[FarmerJohn, Feb 08 2005]

Human scale chess http://humanchess.typepad.com/project/
[robinism, Feb 09 2005]

[link]






       Hahahahaha! Clever, wagster. Very clever.
DesertFox, Feb 08 2005
  

       E-I-E-I-O
FarmerJohn, Feb 08 2005
  

       Is there a halftime show?
k_sra, Feb 08 2005
  

       + haha
benfrost, Feb 08 2005
  

       + just for the "powered by cheese"
Jinbish, Feb 08 2005
  

       Heh.
skinflaps, Feb 08 2005
  

       Chicks dig it, and it's good for ewe.   

       "Away from me Bess! Bishop to queen five, and mate- No! Bad dog..."
Detly, Feb 08 2005
  

       if I had a tail I would wag it, wagster.
po, Feb 08 2005
  

       Last time someone brought up a board game idea, about ten others sprung up like mushrooms.
DesertFox, Feb 08 2005
  

       [k_sra] - I will gladly have a half time show featuring Farmer Giles' wife and three pigs performing 'Swan Lake' in tutus, if only Farmer John can design a chess clock that can figure out when half time occurs in a chess match.   

       [po] - We really must get to work on those tails.
wagster, Feb 08 2005
  

       A somewhat slower version of this could be played with agriculture.   

       "Plant alfalfa in bean two".   

       "Kudzu takes alfalfa - check".
normzone, Feb 08 2005
  

       "Walmart takes soybeans - check, and mate, I believe".
normzone, Feb 08 2005
  

       Heh. Gorgeous anno, [normzone].
bristolz, Feb 08 2005
  

       Love it!
energy guy, Feb 08 2005
  

       This makes me smile.   

       I'd give you two +'s if I could.
Flux, Feb 09 2005
  

       Workable as bonus income somehow with those corn maze thingies, I do suspect.
RayfordSteele, Feb 09 2005
  

       I'm a chess lover, and this is brilliant !
NeoPiter, Mar 08 2005
  

       Can I suggest draughts (checkers) with well trained sheep that can jump over each other and create well balanced kings.
etherman, Mar 08 2005
  

       [etherman] And will all the sheep jump over fences, like you see in cartoons when people are trying to sleep?   

       I've always wondered if they could do that...
froglet, Mar 08 2005
  

       [DesertFox].. what about a mushroom based board-game ?
neilp, Mar 08 2005
  

       Halftime would occur when the cow or queen needs to be milked.
MrDaliLlama, Mar 09 2005
  
      
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