Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Fire Escape Fountain

Descend gently in a warm pool of water
  (+5, -2)
(+5, -2)
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A powerful jet of warm water aimed upwards, directly vertical from a powerful pump on the ground and adjusted to play out at just below the window sill where the stranded occupant sits. He or she jumps into the fountain and the cascade is slowly and gently lowered until its occupant can slide/jump/slither off unharmed on to the ground.
The Kat, May 19 2004

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       Too easy to fall out of the side.
DrCurry, May 19 2004
  

       The person should roll up in a ball to stay in the stream. I see this more as entertainment for a waterpark.
kbecker, May 19 2004
  

       foolish (+)
neilp, May 19 2004
  

       Well, thats about as halfbaked as they get. Bun.
Letsbuildafort, May 19 2004
  

       Plainly Saturday morning cartoon fare. ditto.
dpsyplc, May 19 2004
  

       can we trust it, Kat? <scared>
po, May 20 2004
  

       Cats don’t need this, since they have a terminal velocity that is generally not terminal. Unless it is a very fat cat.
While the idea is cartoonish, I can imagine a bank of computer controlled water jets that could catch a human and lower him safely to the ground...or twirl him and bounce him around mercilessly, depending.
(And going the other way, the jets could launch a person from a pool like one of those whale riders at Sea World.)
ldischler, May 20 2004
  

       The biggest problem I see with this is that there is generally a limited availability of water at a given building. If you are using this water to lower people, then you have none left to fight the fire!
Vernon, May 21 2004
  

       So use air jets. You must have seen those static free-fall simulator thingies. Maybe not quite as much fun, but it answers your argument. Recycling the water would also do so.
angel, May 21 2004
  

       the water all comes back down to earth again generally, so recycle it...
po, May 21 2004
  

       You could put a light in the bottom of the fountain to control its colour, and hence communicate the state of seriousness of affairs. Green: "Don't worry, there's no fire" Yellow :"There is a fire, but its not a very big one, so if you're scared you might just try the stairs", and Red:"Jump out now! NOW, you fool! There's not a second to lose!"
spacemoggy, May 22 2004
  

       Kats are cynical and trust no-one. Get on at your own risk.
The Kat, May 23 2004
  

       What are the first ones in breathing while waiting for the rest of the building's 300 employees to pile in?
spacemoggy, May 24 2004
  

       I dont have many ideas - sheesh I am a Kat - I like sleeping best - But this one is still here, praise to bakeypeople.
The Kat, Oct 05 2004
  

       +1 mad Kat!
po, Oct 05 2004
  

       What if [The Kat] really was a cat? I mean, I know it's not the case, but, what if??? What if somewhere in the world there's a cat who's owners leave their computer on at night and their little kitty goes and signs on the halfbakery and paws around about how they like or dislike ideas based on their feline qualities. I mean, the world works in mysterious ways, you know.   

       I need some sleep..
daseva, Feb 07 2006
  

       Needs soap.
skinflaps, Aug 24 2007
  

       Needs buns!
The Kat, Aug 26 2007
  
      
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