Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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“Rubber ducky, you’re the one…”
  [vote for,

These small bathtub style rubber ducks are equipped with a motor, a battery, a compass, a (water sealed) firework, an electric starter, and a radio receiver. I wear a transmitter that is triggered by low voltage contact.

Advance preparation: Bring the ducks to the beach, point them out to sea and turn them on. They’ll go as far from shore as possible in the direction they are pointed while leaving enough battery for the receiver and starter. Ready.

A fabulous night of dining and dancing it was. The sun disappeared from view whilst frolicking only to be replaced by a seemingly more radiant and amorous moon. That night, we walked the sandy beaches and played as if we were children once again. I took the hand of my beloved and as our lips met in a frenzy of joy, the circuit closed, the transmitter transmitted, the receivers received, and the fireworks shimmered over the vast calm ocean (at least I think they did – I was a tad preoccupied at the time).

Shz, Feb 13 2003


       "triggered by a low voltage contact."

Seems like you don't expect much from a date, but croissant, nonetheless.
jurist, Feb 13 2003

       // lips met in a frenzy of joy, //   

       Eh ? Surely it is the exploding ducks that cause the frenzy of joy ?   

       What is this "beloved" thing if which you speak ? Are not the exploding ducks sufficient ?   

8th of 7, Feb 13 2003

       ...and later the earth moved and the ocean swelled on my duck-taped, air mattress.
FarmerJohn, Feb 13 2003

       [jurist], I’m not going to say what happened after the foreplay part of the story.   

       [UB] and [8th], the ducks are destroyed by the mortar charge. [8th] – you have an anti-duck rant too?
Shz, Feb 13 2003

       No, a pro-explosion rant; well, not so much of a rant, more a eulogy ..... Ode to Joy ?
8th of 7, Feb 13 2003

       Joie de boum?
oneoffdave, Feb 13 2003

       I'd call them "mines", but that's just a technical quibble......
8th of 7, Feb 13 2003

       Meanwhile, the Terror Alert was raised to SEVERE after reports of explosive-laden remote controlled ducks bumping up against the hull of Coast Guard ships patrolling offshore.
waugsqueke, Feb 13 2003

       bliss: If it succeeded, would it be a Canadian Mounted Goose?
FarmerJohn, Feb 13 2003

       ...and the fireworks shimmered over the vast calm ocean... followed by the pained screams of bliss's pet goose and the sight of hundreds of fish floating up to the surface. At this time Shz realizes he may have used a bit too much charge.
Worldgineer, Feb 13 2003

       I'd need more than one exploding rubber duck,...being soooo shy an all.   

skinflaps, Feb 13 2003

       Exploding rubber croissant!
DesertFox, Jun 24 2004


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