Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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French-to-English Mallet

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The French have many vices - indeed the word itself is probably one they made up, since if it were a real word in English it would be the plural of vouse.

Of these vices, the most galling* is their use of French. They only do it to annoy, much as the too-clever sort of boy will use pig-Latin to confuse his masters. Even when they pick up a few words of English, they insist on speaking it in such an affected way as to make a mockery of the whole show.

I had previously posted a method whereby the English could learn this French lingo with the minimum of pain (see link). However, our recent triumph in the Tour of France (could there be a name more guaranteed to hammer home the fact of our superiority than "Bradley Wiggins"?) has convinced me that this approach is far too defeatist.

We should, therefore, seize every opportunity to cure the French of their linguistic vice. Hithertofore, however, this has seemed an insuperable challenge. But hope has been restored!

I recently came across a trustworthy report of a Czech gentleman who, after suffering a blow to the head, was granted the near-miraculous ability to speak flawless English (link provided for your convenience).

There are other cases of head traumas leading to a temporary or permanent ability to speak a different (though not always better) language.

It's therefore quite obvious that the inability of the French (and don't get me started on the rest of the world) to speak English is due to some inherent evolutionary flaw which leaves part of the brain starved of oxygen, perhaps by some congenital clot. A suitable blow, then, can dislodge this clot and restore normal function to the brain's English centres.

From this, it follows that a serious and determined effort must be made to more precisely define the place on the skull to which the blow must be delivered, and the force necessary to effect a cure.

To this end, MaxCo. has devised a helmet, fitted with many electromagnets capable of operating an array of impactors, with a precisely controllable force. A few dozen helmets, strapped securely to Gallic heads and connected to a random number generator; combined with a speech recognition algorithm to detect and respond to the phrase "I say old chap, this is frightfully tedious, do you think you might stop?", should identify the necessary parameters in a matter of weeks.

Once the details of the necessary restitutive blow have been worked out, it will then be a simple matter to offer this treatment to the entire populace of that blighted landmass.

(*itself derived from the same root as "gallic")

MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 29 2012

Plan A French_20par_20osmosis
[MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 29 2012]

If it works for the Czechs... http://www.theregis.../09/14/czech_biker/
[MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 29 2012]

But what if the English can't speak English? http://www.youtube....watch?v=bx6lupC6WyE
aka Muslamic rayguns 101 [Phrontistery, Jul 30 2012]

They did, you know. Pretend_20everythin..._20someone_20French
[RayfordSteele, Jul 31 2012]

Mencken http://www.bartleby.com/185/
[Phrontistery, Aug 10 2012]

[link]






       Probably easiest to conceal them in bearskins, wait for French tourists in London outside Buckingham Palace and pretend you'll take a photo of wearing it.
not_morrison_rm, Jul 29 2012
  

       This is nothing more than a thinly-veiled pretext for striking french people on the head in a variety of painful and cruel ways.   

       Have an entire Bakery. [+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+] [+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+] [+] [+][+][+][+][+][+][+] [+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+] [+][+][+][+][+][+][+] [+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+] [+][+][+][+][+][+][+] [+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+] [+][+][+][+][+][+][+] [+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+] [+][+][+][+][+][+][+] [+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+] [+][+][+][+][+][+][+] [+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+]
8th of 7, Jul 29 2012
  

       I don't know about you but I read this part of the link...   

       "It might sound funny to others, but suddenly thinking you are French is terrifying"   

       It doesn't sound funny to me. I shall have to wear a helmet all the time in order to avoid such a fate.
DenholmRicshaw, Jul 29 2012
  

       Ah, mallet, not mullet.
zeno, Jul 29 2012
  

       [+] the title.
FlyingToaster, Jul 29 2012
  

       " it might sound funny to others, but suddenly thinking you are French is terrifying."®   

       (Max's link)
normzone, Jul 29 2012
  

       [+]
UnaBubba, Jul 29 2012
  

       //it might sound funny to others, but suddenly thinking you are French is terrifying   

       Oh, come on, there are worse things than being French...erm...give me a few minutes...err
not_morrison_rm, Jul 29 2012
  

       I love the retrophrenology aspect of this.   

       "Go for the language adjustment, stay for the personality rearrangement"
Custardguts, Jul 29 2012
  

       Are there any French Half Bakers? Or do they bake only in toto?
sqeaketh the wheel, Jul 30 2012
  

       I miss the rains down in Africa.
UnaBubba, Jul 30 2012
  

       "I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more."
8th of 7, Jul 30 2012
  

       'Of these vices, the most galling* is their use of French' - or the most Gauling...
Phrontistery, Jul 31 2012
  

       Or de Gaulling...
Phrontistery, Jul 31 2012
  

       The ironic thing is, the French invented this.
RayfordSteele, Jul 31 2012
  

       This kind of thinking is precisely what led the more intelligent Americans to replace their French fries with Freedom Fries.
sqeaketh the wheel, Jul 31 2012
  

       // the more intelligent Americans //   

       What, you mean Congress? By what standard are you measuring intelligence?   

       [The Alterother] eats French Fries, thankyouverymuch. Except when he's in England, of course; there, he eats chips. But then, he also eats chips when he's at home, only he eats crisps over there...   

       Oh dear, I've gone cross-eyed.
Alterother, Jul 31 2012
  

       Shouldn't this be French-to-English Maillet?   

       Non.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 31 2012
  

       //English centres//   

       Maybe they'll learn to spell “center” correctly as well. Oh, sure, those of you with the Queen on your money will insist otherwise, but doesn't anything about your preferred spelling strike you (no pun intended) as a bit… batrachian? Kinda looks like it should really be pronounced “san-twah”, hmm?
ytk, Jul 31 2012
  

       English is rife with peculiar spellings, [ytk], mostly because the language evolved over a couple of thousand years. It started with West Saxon, then assimilated aspects of Old High German and Old Norse. It was further influenced by later Scandinavian dialects, by the Romans, the Dutch, the Greeks and, since then, it has been further enriched by over 50 different languages.   

       Over the centuries, English has also repeatedly split into rich regional dialects which, in turn have re-fused an re-invigorated the language which we now consider to be R.P. English. Our language today is a linguistic distillation of two millenia of world history, sculpted by the chisel of time and polished on the beach of antiquity.   

       We also developed English Lite for export. It seems to have taken quite well.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 31 2012
  

       //further enriched by over 50 different languages//   

       You say enriched, I say contaminated.   

       //We also developed English Lite for export.//   

       That's a revisionist perspective. It would be more accurate to say that we Yanks gave your creaky old tongue a tune-up and a coat of polish. And yet you stubbornly—proudly, even—insist on retaining your vestigial pseudo-French orthography. Well, suit yourselves, even if that does make you a bunch of frog sympathizers. Far be it from me to step between a Brit and his Brie.
ytk, Jul 31 2012
  

       On the other hand, we don't have 151 feet and one inch of second-hand French hardware wearing a negligee standing at the entrance to one of our major harbours. At least we didn't last time I checked, but you can never tell with this coalition government.   

       How long after delivery was it that you realized that "metre" was not french for "inch"?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 31 2012
  

       Touché. So to speak.
ytk, Jul 31 2012
  

       //Touché. So to speak.//   

       You're not from bloody Louisiana are you?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 31 2012
  

       Shows how much you know about geography. Bloody is in Arkansas.
ytk, Jul 31 2012
  

       //Bloody is in Arkansas.//   

       I couldn't find it on Google Earth. Are you sure you're not thinking of Bald Knob, Arkansas?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 31 2012
  

       Well, thoughts of Bald Knob are indeed never far from my heart. My brain, on the other hand, wants nothing to do with the place.
ytk, Jul 31 2012
  

       Rentisham's Traditional Flenting Wax could only have been created in English; Cire Traditionnelle Flenting de Rentisham doesn't have quite the same character. Besides, any country whose noun for (ski) wax is fart sorely needs these helmets.
Phrontistery, Jul 31 2012
  

       //we Yanks gave your creaky old tongue a tune-up and a coat of polish.   

       I don't want to be impolite, but taking one letter off the word "axe" was not exactly an arduous exercise.   

       I'm not even sure why, as generally the word axe does not usually occur so often in written communication that it would result in a great saving in paper, ink or keyboards.   

       Unless your talking about a handbook for lumberjacks, or an axe catalogue of course.
not_morrison_rm, Aug 01 2012
  

       Actually, you have it backwards: The Brits tacked an unnecessary “e” onto the end of the word, as they are wont to do: “The spelling ax is better on every ground, of etymology, phonology, and analogy, than axe, which became prevalent during the 19th century; but it is now disused in Britain.” [OED]   

       A surprising amount of what you think of as “your” language was simply made up in the last couple hundred years by stuffy Englishmen who were concerned they weren't sounding pompous enough. The incorrect spelling of aluminum as “aluminium” is a prime example. Humphry Davy, who discovered the element, clearly decided to call it aluminum, but back in Britain some anonymous old fart, in a review of Davy's book where the correct name was clearly written, decided to use the more “classical sounding” name, ignoring not only scientific convention that dictated the name should be aluminum, but precedent set by such elements as platinum, tantalum, and molybdenum.   

       Oh, and ever wonder why the North American accents differ so greatly from the modern English accent, as compared to, say, the Australian accent? Well, you can read “The Mother Tongue” by Bill Bryson if you're curious, but here's a hint: Shakespeare performed in an American accent is actually far more “authentic” sounding than when it's performed in an English one.
ytk, Aug 01 2012
  

       //Shakespeare performed in an American accent is actually far more “authentic” sounding than when it's performed in an English one.//   

       Actually, it would be a sort of rural English accent which, once you get over the surprise, is quite like a Southern American accent (the "dd for tt" in "budder" substitution, for instance, is from English southern rural accents).   

       So, [ytk] is quite right - American English is closer to older and less well-educated English accents than it is to modern, more advanced English.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 01 2012
  

       >sounding pompous enough.   

       We have a special pomping cream for that, I believe it's the same company that does the leg-whitening cream used before holidaying in warmer climes. It does, however, have no connection whatsoever with Flenting Wax.   

       //Shakespeare performed in an American accent is actually far more “authentic” sounding than when it's performed in an English one.//   

       Shakespeare always sounds best in the original Russian.   

       PS I do have this nasty feeling that Shakespeare being a Stratford lad would have had a borderline brummie accent.   

       PPS What exactly did the tune up involve if not the removal of letters, I want to see the invoice again.
not_morrison_rm, Aug 01 2012
  

       Many have noted that their abilities to speak in foreign tongues improve on consuming quantites of liquor native to the region in question while visiting taverns in said region. I think that this approach might serve as a more saleable beta test of the invention here, or perhaps a runup to deployment of the invention here - a pretreatment or marinade of sorts.   

       I can see this as a beverage advertisement, in fact: beret-bearing Europoean tourists in England (there must be an occasional one for Stonehenge, at least) drinking some sort of English brew, and suddenly speaking near perfect but charmingly accented English, and attracting a bevy of attractive English ladies. Or at least enthusiastic English ladies.   

       Maybe there is a law against people portraying the Queen in English advertisements? Maybe this could be circumvented with a portrayal of the King if there is not currently one? In any case, he or she would be a good addition to this ad campaign.
bungston, Aug 01 2012
  

       [bungston] you have willfully misinterpreted my idea as a device to encourage the French to visit England and integrate. I am stuned.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 01 2012
  

       //Shakespeare being a Stratford lad would have had a borderline brummie accent. //   

       Oi - Romiaow, Romiaow - wherefore art yow, Romiaow?
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 01 2012
  

       //Oi - Romiaow, Romiaow - wherefore art yow, Romiaow?   

       Sadly, yes.
not_morrison_rm, Aug 01 2012
  

       That they can develop accents specific to street corners of a region tells me that the English simply didn't travel enough to avoid local inbreeding.
RayfordSteele, Aug 01 2012
  

       // American English is closer to older and less well-educated English accents than it is to modern, more advanced English.//
  

       And modern Icelandic is much closer to Old Norse than is modern Norwegian. The provinces have a way of preserving the old, classic styles while the original country gets all newfangled.
sqeaketh the wheel, Aug 01 2012
  

       That doesn't explain Boston, unfortunately. Although nothing really can.
RayfordSteele, Aug 01 2012
  

       Hmm, for some strange reason, Russian seems not to have developed the same "What the heck did he just say?" mutually unintelligible accents that English suffers from.
not_morrison_rm, Aug 01 2012
  

       It's the lack of prepositions. Start declining nouns, and there's no end to it.
8th of 7, Aug 01 2012
  

       American English {{{{{shudder}}}}} was an attempt by the chronically parsimonious Noah Webster to "simplify" the language by bastardising the spelling of many words, in order to make it easier for small children and semi-literate Americans to spell commonly used words (a feat that still eludes most of them, to this day, it would seem).   

       Accordingly, we now see anomalies in American English {{{{{shudder}}}}} like the word aeroplane reduced to airplane, despite aeronautical, aerosol and aerobic remaining in common usage.   

       It is also notable that aluminium is, if spelled in American English {{{{{shudder}}}}} as ALUMINUM, one of only 5 elements whose names end simply in UM, as opposed to some 84 whose names end in IUM. Just saying...
UnaBubba, Aug 02 2012
  

       You're just saying that we speak the language in a simple, pure, dynamic form, unadorned by the needless flourishes and archaic syntax protocols that make so many other languages rigid and awkward. That is what you're saying, isn't it?
Alterother, Aug 02 2012
  

       //Accordingly, we now see anomalies in American English {{{{{shudder}}}}} like the word aeroplane reduced to airplane, despite aeronautical, aerosol and aerobic remaining in common usage.//   

       Well, let's have a look see here: “The oldest recorded uses of the spelling airplane are British.… Although A. Lloyd James recommended its adoption by the BBC in 1928, it has until recently been no more than an occasional form in British English.” If you'd like, I can have that crow delivered via aerocraft to your local aeroport, or I can simply send it via aeromail to you directly.   

       //one of only 5 elements whose names end simply in UM, as opposed to some 84 whose names end in IUM. Just saying...//   

       I gather what you're saying is that you agree that there's precedent for the -num spelling? Also consider the following:   

       1) Humphry Davy (a Brit, incidentally) discovered the element, and thereby deserves the right to name it. He settled on “aluminum”. Any other spelling is disrespectful to his memory as a scientific pioneer.

2) “The -um suffix is consistent with the universal spelling alumina for the oxide, as lanthana is the oxide of lanthanum, and magnesia, ceria, and thoria are the oxides of magnesium, cerium, and thorium respectively.” [The 'Pedia] So if you want to use consistency as an argument, well, that ain't really on your side either.

On the other hand, there's the counterargument you so helpfully raised: “B-b-b-b-but, 84 is bigger than 5!” Quite compelling. I trust you also refer to atomic number 78 as “platinium”?
ytk, Aug 02 2012
  

       All well and good, but none of this really addresses the heart of the matter, namely that the French don't seem to be able to get the hang of either English or American spellings. For example, they spell "dog" as "chien", "house" as "maison" and "attack" as "retraite". This shall not stand.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 02 2012
  

       'Shakespeare performed in an American accent is actually far more “authentic” sounding than when it's performed in an English one'... really, which particular American accent? I'll not get into a border war because that's unnecessary but what sticks in the mind are agonies like Tony Curtis in the Black Shield of Falworth, A Midsummer Night's Dream with James Cagney and Mickey Rooney and Charlton Heston in Antony and Cleopatra/Julius Caesar.   

       Moving on, America's had plenty of time since 1584 to change their English into American, an entirely separate language with inputs from all the nations who came to populate the place.
Phrontistery, Aug 02 2012
  

       Ahh, [Max], now I see. Your spelling of “centre” is actually part of a cunning ruse to convince the credulous Frenchman that you're meeting him halfway on the matter. If the mountain won't come to Muhammed, after all… Very clever indeed, but you might have just said that in the first place. But then, I suppose, you might have inadvertently prevented all of this pointless bickering.
ytk, Aug 02 2012
  

       I said the accent was more authentic, [Phront], not that it was necessarily better or worse for performing Shakespeare.
ytk, Aug 02 2012
  

       Silent "u" or not silent "u", that is the question.
AusCan531, Aug 02 2012
  

       So "Hey" is actually "Hey, you" but with a silent you?
not_morrison_rm, Aug 02 2012
  

       ___ got it.
AusCan531, Aug 02 2012
  

       Considering that I, most of my fellow Americans, and possibly a couple of the Canadians, are the only Halfbakers who speak pure, unaccented English, I consider this entire argument inn-VAL-id. Limeys, Auzzies, and Kiwis all speak perfectly comprehensible and legitimate English, but you all have accents. Australians in particular do a fine job of mangling the mother tongue.
Alterother, Aug 02 2012
  

       I knew we should've named the airplane the cuisinart.
RayfordSteele, Aug 02 2012
  

       Really the problem with the French is that the Normans were sort of halfass with their conquest; neither a wholesale purge of the populace nor any compulsion to wipe out or methodically supplant the native language. The English did better in their later endeavors of the sort with the Irish and others.   

       English is a fun, promiscuous language but spelling is a bear. If only Noah had gone whole hog for phonetic spelling.
bungston, Aug 02 2012
  

       English spelling is tough, though through enough thought it ought to be OK.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 02 2012
  

       We refer you to the pre-WW2 newspaper headline acknowledging Noel Coward's latest West End production; "Cavalcade Pronounced Success".
8th of 7, Aug 02 2012
  

       //whole hog for phonetic spelling.//   

       sp. Fonetik?
UnaBubba, Aug 02 2012
  

       it is the great irony that phonetic is not spelt very phonetically.
not_morrison_rm, Aug 03 2012
  

       //For example, they spell "dog" as "chien", "house" as "maison" and "attack" as "retraite". This shall not stand.//   

       You've inspired me, [MB]. As soon as I find a mallet, I'll get straight to work.
MikeD, Aug 05 2012
  

       Does this mean that an attack-dog-house would be spelled retraitechienmaison? Now I see what the problem is. The German would be much clearer. I assume we all like the Germans, right?
sqeaketh the wheel, Aug 09 2012
  

       //English spelling   

       Cholmondeley pronounced "chum-li", Featherstonhaugh pronounced "fanshaw".   

       What could be simpler than that?
not_morrison_rm, Aug 09 2012
  

       //Moving on, America's had plenty of time since 1584 to change their English into American, an entirely separate language with inputs from all the nations who came to populate the place.   

       Yes and no. There's kind of a bell curve there. First, no divergence really, as no new things to talk about, axe, knife, tree. Ok, skunk (not that kind) that kind of stuff, but no new artefacts.   

       However lots of new artefacts a lot later on, in the 1900's automobiles, fender, trunk,hood etc.   

       That lasted until the rise of modern communications, films, radio that kind of thing 1930's-ish so a convergence again, tv, computer.   

       So, the actual possible time for divergence was remarkably short. At least that's what I think.   

       Ok, just for that you get my new animal name joke. (set in Australia, in a camp) Person A - Hey, they found a mammal near the camp that has a beak, and lays eggs?   

       Person B - "You're kidding me!"   

       Person A- "Echida not".   

       and that's how the Echidna got it's name, boys and girls..
not_morrison_rm, Aug 09 2012
  

       Your first name's not Echidna, is it? As regards your point re 'fender, trunk,hood' etc, those words have entered the American lexicon in English; words weren't created for those new inventions in say Spanish or Polish or Japanese. Americans have embraced English but not evolved it into a patois of their own.
Phrontistery, Aug 09 2012
  

       //As soon as I find a mallet, I'll get straight to work.// Thanks, [MikeD]. It's good to know that this battle will not be solely between the civilians and the uncivilians.   

       To paraphrase the mathematician Tom Lehrer: "If, after reading my posts, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while."
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 09 2012
  

       //Americans have embraced English but not evolved it into a patois of their own.   

       Yeah, it's just that I realised that communications having a damper effect on language divergence, for good or bad.   

       For example, Aormori-ben (very north Honshu Japan) and Kanto-ben (Tokyo area) versions were virtually mutually unintelligible, but now everyone watches TV programs made in the big city (Tokyo) so people in Aomori will understand what people from Tokyo are saying.   

       So, I'm guessing the next real opportunity for patois development is interstellar colonisation.
not_morrison_rm, Aug 09 2012
  

       I think if the language spoken in America were called American, we Americans might treat it with a bit more respect. (Maybe.) But, it being called English, we feel a certain freedom - if not duty - to vandalize it a bit.
lurch, Aug 10 2012
  

       Meanwhile, in a small research facility outside Grenoble...   

       Messieurs, je vous présente le dernier cri, comme on dit, de la Mission Civilisatrice... Allez, hop!
"Ow"
...et alors...
"OUCH!"
...et puis...
<<Aie!>>
  

       Félicitations!
pertinax, Aug 10 2012
  

       In 'Dissertations on the English Language' Webster said 'As an independent nation our honour requires us to have a system of our own, in language as well as government. Great Britain, whose children we are, should no longer be our standard. . . . . A national language is a band of national union. Every engine should be employed to render the people of this country national; to call their attachment home to their own country; and to inspire them with the pride of national character'.   

       Which makes me wonder if modern America is defined, or restricted, by still speaking English.
Phrontistery, Aug 10 2012
  

       Así que, ¿cuál es el problema?
pertinax, Aug 10 2012
  

       //makes me wonder if modern America is defined, or restricted, by still speaking English// Look on the bright side, you could easily have wound up speaking German.   

       Besides, the Australians, like you, speak English after a fashion; but that hasn't stopped them from becoming widely respected in the arts, in culture, in science, in philosophy, in - no, hang on, I'm thinking of Belgium.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 12 2012
  

       Parfait!
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 13 2012
  

       vive françaises vive américain aie Je dis vieux, c'est affreusement ennuyeux, pensez- vous que vous pourriez arrêter? aie I say old chap, this is frightfully tedious, do you think you might stop ? ouch
PainOCommonSense, Sep 19 2012
  

       See, it works?
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 19 2012
  

       The French were invented purely for the sake of the rest of the world being allowed to the pass the remark, 'There is nothing more galling.'
Lesser Spotted Kiwi, Sep 19 2012
  

       So much anti French sentiment on a site with a heading displaying a half croissant oozing dark chocolate.
Lesser Spotted Kiwi, Sep 19 2012
  

       It's just oozing.
Phrontistery, Sep 19 2012
  

       Fully aware of what I am about to let myself in for. I raise this "tongue in cheek" query. Wasn't it the French who invented the croissant neuf ?
Lessor Spotted Kiwi, Sep 20 2012
  

       //So much anti French sentiment on a site with a heading displaying a half croissant oozing dark chocolate.// I see no chocolate. Is it possible that a small child has left a fingerprint on your monitor? Also, the croissant was an English invention, known as a "ram's cake" before, like so much, it was plagiarised by the French. In parts of France it is still known as a "beurre Anglais".
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 20 2012
  

       //I see no chocolate// I have maximised magnification and conclude there is a hollow centre to the half croissant displayed with what I opine to be chocolate content. My reference to croissant neuf being of French origin was but a modest pun on soixante neuf.
Lessor Spotted Kiwi, Sep 20 2012
  

       Thank you for your summation Big Sleep.   

       Upon re examination of the Half Bakery heading. Nowhere am I able observe reference to the name croissant. In Kiwi land, we remain somewhat more base than the Northern Hemisphere in terms of correct pronunciation. Pain au chocolate as you correctly refer, is more readily given the 'Pommie' name of chocolate croissant back here.
Lessor Spotted Kiwi, Sep 20 2012
  

       Were I to be aware of the portion of the site to which you make reference, I would readily accede to your continued pressing request. However, I weary a of being called to account over correct or incorrect naming. To me, a chocolate croissant remains just that, added to your questioning is that another has this very day, alerted me to the fact Croissants are of English origin, thus dispelling any truth in my naive lifetime schoolboy history lesson belief, the croissant was of Viennese origin.
Lessor Spotted Kiwi, Sep 20 2012
  

       Totally aware.... My fear.... Is he aware he is? Chocolatine is familiar. My satisfaction is drawn from enjoying a warm croissant, with butter. I have no intention of deviating from this practice.
Lessor Spotted Kiwi, Sep 20 2012
  

       Perhaps we are confounding a "chocolate filled croissant" with a "pain au chocolate"? A P-au-C is made of croissanty material, but is roughly rectangular and has a filling of dark chocolate.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 21 2012
  

       Enough of this puerile bickering. This type of sweetmeat is known correctly or incorrectly as a chocolate croissant over here.
Lessor Spotted Kiwi, Sep 21 2012
  

       //correctly or incorrectly// there's your error right there in the first part of that quote.
pocmloc, Sep 22 2012
  

       Presumably you lay claim the French own some God given right to how this sweetmeat be so named. Rich!
Lessor Spotted Kiwi, Sep 22 2012
  

       I've eaten kipferl stuffed with honeyed almonds and chocolate on my travels and I've also eaten a chocolate croissant with the same filling. What it's called doesn't matter, how it tastes does. And besides the lush Nigella makes chocolate croissants and she can never be wrong.
Phrontistery, Sep 22 2012
  

       I'll eat to that. Cheers.
Lessor Spotted Kiwi, Sep 22 2012
  
      
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