Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Funkodancer 2000

Turns embarrassingly bad dancers into passably bad dancers.
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This invention is vital for all those rhythmically handicapped people among us. Consisting of a set of electrodes worn under the clothing and attached to your legs, arms and waist, the Funkodancer 2000 sends small shocks to the relevant limb in time to the music. The tempo is determined by a microphone connected to a micro computer, which analyzes the the bass notes and beats. With a little bit of practice, the crappy dancer can learn to interpret these shocks and use them to guide their funky moves.

To ensure the right moves for the right setting, the user can choose from a selection of venues such as jazz lounge, nightclub or death metal show.

So get your groove on with the Funkodancer 2000 and start pulling all those sexy girls on the dance floor.

Funkodancer, because YOU deserve it.

Eggplant, Sep 12 2009

Shockingly similar idea STOP_20dancing_20like_20a_20geek
I *thought* I'd seen this before. [DrWorm, Sep 12 2009]

sortof similar, using a jacket Robotic_20Sign_20Language_20Jacket
Comes with the Mr. Roboto easter egg... [RayfordSteele, Sep 15 2009]

[link]






       I like this, but the shocks should be large ones. Very large ones.
DrBob, Sep 12 2009
  

       Check out the link...
DrWorm, Sep 12 2009
  

       Similar, though different. This guy's invention does the dancing for you, while mine acts as a guide allowing you to express yourself fully. Also, when the hot girl starts dancing with you, she is not electrocuted or scared off by your inability to respond to her advances. I did consider the auto-dance idea, but decided gently nudging the budding dancer towards funkydelicism was the way to go.
Eggplant, Sep 12 2009
  

       Ah. Same concept, different applications. I get it.
DrWorm, Sep 12 2009
  

       Yes, very similar I suppose. I would argue mine is more thoroughly thought out, as I have included a method for determining the tempo of the music.   

       Understand I am an apprentice baker...   

       You should check out the Karaoke Glasses. Now that's a winning concept!
Eggplant, Sep 12 2009
  

       Well, my invention doesn't require the high voltage needed to force the muscle to contract. Therefore there is only a small buzz. Also, the electrodes are worn under the clothing, preventing any direct contact with the sexy girl mentioned.
Eggplant, Sep 12 2009
  
      
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