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Garden Gnomes

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During the day they hide under (hollow) photo-electric (faux) rocks; at night they emerge to maintain the garden.

A buried cable running underneath the garden paths gives them gross spatial awareness, a site-specific map of the garden refines it. The Gnome King who holds all the common data also connects to current meteorological data to decide on the exact regimen to be taken that evening.

As the night progresses, they take turns patrolling the garden with the water hose to ward off 'coons, cats and neighbours' kids. Otherwise they're busy planting, weeding, tilling, aerating, watering, composting/fertilizing, etc. etc. all the while the little red eyes glowing and blinking....

When the sun comes up they scurry back into their ornamental domiciles.

(note: reprogramming the gnomes to, for instance siphon gas from the neighbour's car, voids the warranty)

FlyingToaster, Feb 16 2009

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       [+] But on detecting human movement they should freeze until the intruder gets halfway into the garden, then the floodlight comes on and all gnomes look towards the intruder.
bigsleep, Feb 16 2009
  

       and faint high-pitched psycho-acoustically enhanced giggling sounds as they get closer... and closer.... and then the spotlight (or a camera flash) and autopost it to youtube.
FlyingToaster, Feb 16 2009
  

       I like it! I really like it, in fact. I agree with Bigsleep's anno, although I propose one very minor change. The eyes don't light up at all, until an intruder is detected. THEN, after stopping and sitting still until the intruder is in the yard a good way, they light up their eyes bright red, turn toward the intruder, and converge on said intruder with the high-pressure water hoses.   

       HUGE bun, and another for the Invader Zim-like quality.
21 Quest, Feb 16 2009
  

       Let's all pitch in and buy the complete set for [Unabubba].
Custardguts, Feb 16 2009
  

       //Let's all pitch in and buy the complete set for [Unabubba].//   

       Well, if you've got a few hours, I'll glaldy donate my 2 cents....
21 Quest, Feb 16 2009
  

       Rather reminds me of the Morloch. Bun if they come up and snatch something cute every now and then.
placid_turmoil, Feb 17 2009
  

       Don't bury them there, boys and girls. That's where I planted a crop of anti-personnel mines just yesterday.
UnaBubba, Feb 19 2009
  

       [+] Starter pack comes with Gnome King, Mowing Gnome, Watering Gnome, and triple-berth Gnome Home. Booster packs contain other Gnomes specialised for weeding, pest control, aeration etc.   

       Gnome Home is wired to mains power or roof-top solar panels for recharging, and downloading Happy Gnome Whistling Worksong O' The Day.   

       Suggest altering title to Gardening Gnomes to differentiate from the many other gnome-related postings.
BunsenHoneydew, Feb 22 2009
  

       But they're not just for gardening. Didn't you read the bit about the security patrols to chase off intruders?
21 Quest, Feb 22 2009
  

       + sorry I missed this one! ( I was out reprogramming my gnomes to shovel snow!)
xandram, Feb 23 2009
  
      
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