Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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I never imagined it would be edible.

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Geekoo Clock

"Loser"
 
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Looks like a normal clock, perhaps a little gaudy but otherwise harmless in appearance. Every hour a mis-shapen dwarf -like creature shoots out of a portal and delivers a puerile one-word insult. At random intervals and for no apparent reason, the creature re-appears and launches into a complete rant about nothing in particular.

On the deluxe version, the feature can be turned off if required, via an infra red remote switch in the form of a 12-bore shotgun, to the accompaniment of a large gout of blue and purple flame and an enormous bang. Only works once.

Thanks to [UB] for unwitting inspiration.

egbert, Jan 17 2003

[link]






       I'll take a full case, and two boxes of shotgun shells.
8th of 7, Jan 17 2003
  

       I want one. As long as you can shut it up at night. How would you ensure a good variety of rants? Perhaps it could have an internet connection to download editorials from right-wing newspaper columnists.
kropotkin, Jan 17 2003
  

       A cuckoo clock with tourette's syndrome? I want one!
X2Entendre, Jan 17 2003
  

       What? No dwarf tossing?
barnzenen, Jan 17 2003
  

       No, no, it's a troll, not an owl!
egbert, Jan 17 2003
  

       Mmm...Milk...slice of bread, anyone?
talen, Jan 20 2003
  
      
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