h a l f b a k e r y
The mutter of invention.
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Looks like a normal clock, perhaps a little gaudy but otherwise harmless in appearance. Every hour a mis-shapen dwarf -like creature shoots out of a portal and delivers a puerile one-word insult. At random intervals and for no apparent reason, the creature re-appears and launches into a complete rant
about nothing in particular.
On the deluxe version, the feature can be turned off if required, via an infra red remote switch in the form of a 12-bore shotgun, to the accompaniment of a large gout of blue and purple flame and an enormous bang. Only works once.
Thanks to [UB] for unwitting inspiration.
[link]
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I'll take a full case, and two boxes of shotgun shells. |
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I want one. As long as you can shut it up at night. How would you ensure a good variety of rants? Perhaps it could have an internet connection to download editorials from right-wing newspaper columnists. |
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Nah, we just gotta get one of our pet ones from around here, wind it up a bit and set it loose. |
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A cuckoo clock with tourette's syndrome? I want one! |
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No, no, it's a troll, not an owl! |
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Now, if a pair of burly bouncers threw this idiot as far as they could, every time, then eventually he will go and live in government housing, and listen to the voices, all day. |
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Mmm...Milk...slice of bread, anyone? |
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