Here’s today’s collection of controlled dreaming about walking-stick “improvements”.

- a quick-access pouch for the cellphone

- a walk-in-the-dark light

- a pepper spray exiting through the ferrule

- a foldout seat halfway up using the folding-fan principle

- flip-out feet for standing up stick while you fumble in your pockets

- compartments for bus-card, coins, cash-card, nip of whiskey

- a vinegar-spray against dog-attacks

- for dog-owners, a plastic-bags compartment and a snap-ring for a dog-lead, plus a reward-pellet container

- a voice-chip which says "Please call so-and-so I'm lost", triggered by cooling of the handle

Most of these are just plain silly of course, but there’s a big market out there for jokey retirement gifts such as a fully loaded stick might be.