Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Healthiest Restaurant of All!

Completely Allergy Safe
  (+3, -5)
(+3, -5)
  [vote for,

Nothing on the menu but glucose and distilled water! No allergens possible!

Decor is smooth glass and stainless steel, with no seams where mold can accumulate.

Wait and kitchen staff are required to submit to a full body depilation before every shift.

Customers are thoroughly vacuumed before admittance.

Each booth is surrounded by downdraft ventilation to prevent cross contamination.

All air is carefully filtered through .1 micron screens and UV disinfection.

There are no bathrooms.

Galbinus_Caeli, Sep 22 2006

Healthier menus on cafes Healthier_20menus_20on_20cafes
My Inspiration! [Galbinus_Caeli, Sep 22 2006]

Not allergen free http://health.ninem...rticle.aspx?id=2506
I don't have any qualms with it being called the 'healthiest' restaurant, but I'm afraid it isn't allergen free. [fridge duck, Sep 22 2006]


       A diet of pure glucose and water would be very unhealthy. The human body needs fats, protein, vitamins, minerals, etc. etc. , (whoever posts after me may continue, and then the person after that, etc. etc. let's see how much we know of the human biochemistry). But I digress. The human body can't live off glucose alone, not to mention that distilled water would actually cause dehydration. If you had thought about the idea, you would suggest adding the neccessairy electroliths to the water, and all the other necessairy "ingredients" to the glucose. Since most of these "ingredients" can be produced artificially, and in a germ-free environment, the general idea of a germ-free restaurant would be preserved. And you would need bathrooms.
Veho, Sep 22 2006

       I think I've been to this restaurant. They didn't even let me handle my own food. Instead, they turned my bagged meal upside-down, hung it from a pole and ran a tube directly to my veins.
Shz, Sep 22 2006

       [Shz]- I bet that hosp.. restaurant wasn't as clean as it looked.   

       [Veho]- I gotta go with [GC] on this- no bathrooms, or at the most, catheters.
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Sep 22 2006

       Um, there's a spelling error in your title. I don't think I want to eat anything in such a clean place. Perhaps it would be even cleaner if the patrons were killed and submerged in formaldehyde? Or better yet, do not allow anyone in at all. Fill the building with concrete and then shoot it into the sun, just to keep things sanitary.
jmvw, Sep 22 2006

       Thanks for the correction, fixed.
Galbinus_Caeli, Sep 22 2006

       No, I think fats, proteins, minerals, and sugars just about covers it.
GutPunchLullabies, Sep 22 2006

       At least if you stretch sugars to include fiber and starch.
GutPunchLullabies, Sep 22 2006

       Actually, negative air pressure in glass enclosed booths would be more effective than downdraft ventilation. It's what hospitals use to keep known carriers of "super-bugs" quarantined. And the employees and customers alike should wear facemasks. All serving and flatware should be disposable. I could go on and on. But I am unclear as to whether you want to get rid of all germs, or just allergens. This idea is interesting but I think it is mistitled. A restaurant of this sort isn't the healthiest, it is just the least harmful to sensitive or immunodeficient people by reducing a negative. Healthy in my mind denotes a proactive stance- the most vitamins, biggest health bang for the buck, etc.
Rm Brz, Sep 22 2006

       We aren't quarantining the customers, we are protecting them. You want positive pressure in the booths.
GutPunchLullabies, Sep 22 2006

       I think that would be 100 nanometer. sounds better.
daseva, Sep 22 2006

       Healthy food means different things for different people. One persons healthy food is others poison. I need my meat for healthy eating but some vegetarians would get sick eating meat.
Pellepeloton, Sep 23 2006

       Not if they didn't know they were eating meat. Vegetarians haven't lost the human body's ability to process meat, or the body's need for meat, they just don't feel like eating it. All bodies need approximately the same nutrients, and in the Healthiest Restaurant in the World, those nutrients wouldn't come in the form of a slightly burnt chicken, nor a steamed piece of tofu, but in a form of an IV drip, so everibody would be happy.
Veho, Sep 23 2006

       <i>Vegetarians haven't lost the human body's ability to process meat,</i>   

       Not entirely true. Long time vegetarians (including myself) stop producing certain enzymes that are used to process meat proteins. Not permanently, but our lazy bodies don't keep a ready supply of the stuff. As a result, a vegetarian who accidentally ingests muscle tissue may have a food poisoning like reaction to it. After a couple of meals, the body will produce the right reagents again and all is well.   

       I know this from personal experience. If I accidentally ingest meat protein (usually from a waiter mischaracterizing a dish as meat free when it contains meat broth, fat, or gelatin) my body rejects it violently a couple hours later. A quick call to the offending restaurant and a talk with a manager or cook yeilds an apology and a stern rebuke to the server who lied (I always ask carefully about ingredients).   

       Oh, and for anyone who did not get it, this "invention" is totally tongue in cheek.
Galbinus_Caeli, Sep 23 2006

       As long as the tongue in cheek is very sanitary.
xandram, Sep 23 2006

       <Howard Hughes> [+] </HH>
m_Al_com, Sep 26 2006

       You may live longer, but look how you spend your mealtime. Eating bland food in the dullest place around. On top of that you have to spent hours in decon before you can sit your just cleaned butt down.   

       And guess what, you still die
the great unknown, Jun 28 2007

       Quite so. Even if you live longer, you'll live less.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 28 2007

       There was a documentary a while back about a colony of hyper-allergic people who lived on a mountain somewhere (far from grass) and got hypoallergenic stuff delivered by hyproallergenic trucks or something. I'm not sure about the details as I missed the program due to going out and drinking beer with friends. Ironically, the beer made me sneeze.
wagster, Jun 28 2007


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