Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Holy Grail Gift Box

For when the present is so-so, but you really, really need to make an impression. With added bling.
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The fine art of gift wrapping was brought back from Tibet by Marco Polo in 145BC, when ancient wizened monks practiced the art of decorating little empty boxes, then sending them to novices as a way of pointing out the finer points of zen ("if a novice smiles politely in the privacy of his own cave, does anyone notice?")("or care?").

Fast forward to the future, if only for the sake of alliteration.

Now, the art of giving presents is practised by everyone, from dyspraxic monkeys in the Harrods department of Harrods (too weird), to descendants of those self-same monks who now send each other mp3 players stuffed to the gills with silence.

The problem is, there's an escalation effect going on. It's no longer sufficient to use the cheap stuff from Woolworths - now it has to be shiny paper, there has to be at least one ribbon on it, and a proper label (not just a bit of the same wrapping paper cut out). It's all gone crazy! So we at Moomcorp have created the ultimate weapon, the nuclear option in the escalating arms race of giftwrap. We present - the Gift from Heaven Box. Or GfHB.

The GfHB is admittedly rather large, but we had to fit the nuclear battery in somewhere, to power the array of warm-light LEDs which lights up every time the lid is opened. And the speakers, which play the sound of a thousand angels singing "Aaahhhhhh" (or possibly "ooooooo"). The box itself... who cares? It will light your face with enough candlepower for an instant tan, and plays the music of the spheres every time you open it! How can anyone not be impressed? Your gift, be it a novelty pencil sharpener or a cat removal tool, will appear as if it were the Holy Grail itself!

moomintroll, Jun 19 2006

Dyspraxia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyspraxia
Tell me more about these monkeys... [zen_tom, Jun 20 2006]

[link]






       Okay, so it was a stupid name. But still, it'd be nice if I could persuade at least one person to read it.
moomintroll, Jun 20 2006
  

       I'm reading this and enjoying it - and then for someone you don't like - there is the complimentary box from hell. +
xenzag, Jun 20 2006
  

       \\Tell me more about these monkeys..//   

       they're not very good at wrapping presents.
moomintroll, Jun 20 2006
  
      
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