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Holy War Summer Camp

Offering die-hard zealots a safe place in which to kill each other
  (+6, -1)
(+6, -1)
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Here in Maine (and in several other places I can't immediately name) there is a summer camp where Isreali and Palistinian teens and pre-teens come together for six weeks every year to work toward peace and religious tolerance in the Middle East while being rapidly exsanguinated by mosquitos in the Middle of Nowhere. I think this is great, and I've even donated a few handfuls of spare change to the cause.

I think the same non-profit approach could be taken with those who refuse to work toward peace. It seems that a lot of people just want to live peaceful and productive lives and would undoubtedly appreciate a drastic reduction in the daily rate of exploding buses, so why not start a charity to offer those few who still want to fight low-cost airfare to pre-designated combat zones where they can duke it out without hurting anyone but each other?

The Atacama is a lovely place to stage mass tank battles, and for those who prefer the nasty carnage of city fighting, downtown Detroit is available to rent or own. Those accustomed to the desert and looking for a change of pace might come up here to the mountains and discover a common enemy in the form of neck- deep snow. There are plenty of places around the world in which to safely conduct violent dispute, so let's all pitch in and move the shooting away from the residential areas. Once the dust has settled and the bodies have been looted, whoever's left alive can return home in comfort with the satisfaction of having accomplished absolutely nothing, and if their bloodlust isn't completely sated, they can always come back next year.

Group discount rates available. Book your reservations now!

Alterother, Nov 07 2012

[link]






       // There are plenty of places around the world in which to safely conduct violent dispute, //   

       Belgium was created purely so that major European powers could have somewhere to fight in without damaging anything important ... sometimes it spills over into france. Meh.   

       [+]
8th of 7, Nov 07 2012
  

       I have a feeling Detroit would win that round handily.
RayfordSteele, Nov 08 2012
  

       We'll hire actors to play the civilians in the urban combat zones. A little bit of body armor and some paramedics on standby should prove sufficient as safety measures.   

       // Unfortunately the idea misses the point of the fighting. //   

       Actually, it's cleverly facetious bit of social commentary playing upon that very aspect. These conflicts have been going on for so long that _everybody_ is missing the point. Find me one Palestinian freedom fighter or Hutu tribesman who can clearly articulate the source of their aggression, and I'll give you the nice half of Vancouver Island.
Alterother, Nov 08 2012
  

       Well since jihad to go and bring it up, I'm not falling for that again.   

       I think a regular summer camp would go a long way towards solving this problem.
DIYMatt, Nov 08 2012
  

       // the nice half of Vancouver Island //   

       [marked-for-incredulity]   

       That would be the part of Vancouver Island that isn't dull, rain-soaked, bedraggled, infested with mouth-breathing Canucks, and altogether rather less attractive than most of the Cascade range ?
8th of 7, Nov 08 2012
  

       ^ OY! BORG! I've been to the U.K. and can affirm that Vancouver Island is much much nicer. (Well, the parts in the rain shadow anyway).
AusCan531, Nov 09 2012
  

       Superior force has always been the only claim to land. Power is only a part of force.
rcarty, Nov 09 2012
  

       // How could the Israelis realistically be expected to take these people seriously? //   

       For that matter, how can anyone? And how can anyone take the Isrealis seriously when their own nation is founded upon half-remembered dogma and misguided British imperialism? When a conflict outlives the generation that spawned it, the active combatants no longer know what they're fighting for. Ask them and you'll get plenty of answers, but no definition. At this point, it's the Hatfields and the McCoys on a multinational scale.   

       I mean no offence to either party, though I'm probably causing it. It simply takes an outsider to see that these conflicts are downright stupid and that very few people actually want to see them continued. Folks can live together in social, racial, and religious harmony. With the exception of West Virginia and Utah, the USA has been doing it for the better part of forty years.
Alterother, Nov 09 2012
  

       // if america is to be believed. //   

       We aren't, nor are we to be trusted. Unless, of course, you mean Canada; they're entirely trustworthy, but just as nearly unbelievable.
Alterother, Nov 09 2012
  

       Mostly agreed. I am between 22 and 35 and do have the whatever-it-takes to mostly take it all in, but the world is a large, confusing, and almost entirely valueless place that is irrevocably at odds with itself, and no matter how many like-minded people try to point that out, just as many other like- minded people who are of a different mind will tell them how wrong they are and possible try to kill them.   

       Personally, I deal with it by having a sense of humor.
Alterother, Nov 09 2012
  

       Great - another excuse for me to post my idea for a Live Firing, Suicide Bomber Practice Range.
xenzag, Nov 09 2012
  

       //I am between 22 and 35//   

       I am only one.
RayfordSteele, Nov 09 2012
  

       // I'm surprised the media/people don't see the demand for a new credible belief in something. It's out there, its just the old commandments / pillars of faith minus the nonsense. //   

       Because the media, cheered on by the general population baying from the sidelines, are in the business of systematically trashing any individual, institution or moral/ethical system in order to build readership/viewing figures, all justified by the fact that it's "in the public interest".
8th of 7, Nov 09 2012
  

       No sense has to be made of anything. The world unfolds in a meaningless way partly through understandable discursion and partly through irrational action. Even that which can framed through discursion seems meaningless and irrational from another discursive system. The conflict is a material one, and the discursion that attempts to be reason and understanding is irrational. The only truth is that we constantly live in the materiality of the present. Any person will grow physically tired trying to tell himself a narrative story of immensity each passing day. Any person will grow tired and eventually become mad under such circumstances. That is the material relation of the discourse. This conflict in the religious storybook land is no different. There is a relatively straightforward material conflict of attacks and counterattacks, antagonisms and reactions, and simple demonstration of force and power. Power is partly discursive such as how things are framed, such as at the UN. Terrorism, Humanitarianism, Antisemitism etc. all hold discursive power. But those amount to little more ultimately than force mobilizations. Ask yourself how much discursive power each of those holds over you personally, and how much personal force you are willing to mobilize and in what way. What discourses frame your decision?
rcarty, Nov 09 2012
  

       We're trapped and coerced to sell and comport ourselves in a world of other people's irrational demands and desires.   

       Most people will simply act in accordance with a view of the real world, whether or not they understand that they make it real.
rcarty, Nov 09 2012
  

       I could ruin a small country but I couldn't be bothered.
rcarty, Nov 09 2012
  

       He's taken some vilified and demonized things head on, including perceptions of himself, that's admirable.
rcarty, Nov 09 2012
  

       [bigs], I meant 'valueless' in the sense of a society lacking in the resolute identifiable values present in previous generations. Just the same, valid point made and heard. I'm not too flip a funnyman to mourn the passing of the Greatest Generation.
Alterother, Nov 09 2012
  

       //Holy war summer camp   

       Isn't that what Al Quaeda training camps are all about?
pashute, Nov 13 2012
  
      
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