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Home Body Part Extender

May the G-force be with you
 
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Lengthening certain body parts has increased in popularity the last few years. Many women invest in hair extensions, longer eyelashes and fingernails and lip and breast augmentations. A lot of men have financed related add-ons. Now this can be achieved at a reasonable price in the privacy of your own home.

The Home body part extender is a remodeled, heavy-duty, laundromat centrifuge that will gently accelerate you, facing outward, to 200 rpm. Before starting, you simply unplug the respective holes in the massage table-type futon and then settle in on your tummy to let centrifugal force act on those unrestricted extremities. The resulting blood flow and G-force stimulation should encourage cell growth leading to beauty and a longer life.

FarmerJohn, May 02 2002

Original BBC report on the op. http://news.bbc.co....1021000/1021251.stm
"All airlines have a minimum height requirement so cabin crews can reach safety equipment and overhead lockers." [angel, May 02 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

She broke a leg shortly afterwards. http://news.bbc.co....1147000/1147874.stm
"It is just an ordinary break and I don't think it has anything to do with the operation Emma had last January." [angel, May 02 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

[link]






       This may well be cheaper than the several thousand pounds that the UK National Health Service recently spent making a 16-year old girl four inches taller so she could apply for a job as a flight attendant.
angel, May 02 2002
  

       why have flight attendants got to be tall?
po, May 02 2002
  

       Its cheaper to order their uniforms in only a couple of sizes, [po].
mcscotland, May 02 2002
  

       and they need to be able to reach the overhead lockers.
sappho, May 02 2002
  

       I should think that the resulting blood flow and G-force stimulation would encourage very little but cherry-colored (and shaped) extremities.
jester, May 02 2002
  

       [po]: See links.
angel, May 02 2002
  

       This reminds me of an actual U.S. patent for a device that purportedly helps pregnant women in the delivery process. It's essentially a hospital bed whose foot spins around a pivot point at the bed's head, thus using centrifugal force to encourage the baby in the desired direction. It doesn't mention how the doctor is supposed to stay in position to catch the emerging baby, but I'd like to see one try.
beauxeault, May 02 2002
  

       beaux - no, you get a bunch of doctors and nurses, form a circle, start a betting pool . . . well, you get the picture. Just hope that the spinning starts AFTER the water breaks.
quarterbaker, May 02 2002
  

       'round and 'round she goes, where she stops nobody knows....
phoenix, May 02 2002
  

       [angel] she'd do better to train as a pilot - stereotypes, who needs them? they want tall girls because its *SEXY*
po, May 02 2002
  

       I believe that the pregnancy bed your talking about is actually just designed to flip the mother upwards, and allow gravity to assist with getting the child out. This is the more natural childbirth process, and many ancient civilzations had birthing chairs for this reason.
ye_river_xiv, Jul 22 2006
  
      
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