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Horizontal bungee jumping

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Bungee jumping is all well and good, but is not a sport for people who suffer from a fear of heights.

Howevertheless, even the vertically challenged can now enjoy a good bunge.

MaxCo.'s first Horizontal Bungee Jumping venue is now open for business. We have had many people beating on our door, but we are not going to let them out until they've tried this exhilarating new sport.

The venue consists of a recycled airport runway, from which we have removed all the bumps and potholes. It has been lavishly slathered with butter from the EU butter mountain, and equipped with two massive eye-bolts, one at each end.

Upon arrival, you will be issued with a head-to-toe boiler suit and harness.

The bungee cord lies along the runway, taut but not stretched, between the two eye-bolts. A befitment at its mid-point attaches securely to your harness.

A rope and winch system then slowly pulls you away from the mid-point, towards one of the terminal eye-bolts, stretching one half of the bungee whilst the other slackens.

Once you reach the eye-bolt, one of our Highly Qualified* technicians will check that the slack half of the bungee is not looped around your neck. He will then sever the winching rope.

What happens next happens quite quickly and repeatedly. Speeds of up to less than 253mph have been recorded by survivors, and persons with BMIs over 40 have been known to make eight or ten oscillations.

[*not necessarily in horizontal bungee operations]

MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 28 2015

[link]






       Sign Me Up! [+]
Grogster, Jul 28 2015
  

       Yea, ok. [+]
doctorremulac3, Jul 28 2015
  

       Horizontal bungee already exists - but is different to this.
Custardguts, Jul 28 2015
  

       Next: Bungee Cresta Run bobsleigh
hippo, Jul 30 2015
  

       //Sign Me Up!//   

       [8th] has already volunteered for the first test (if you see him, please let him know). However, assuming he comes back in one piece of approximately the right shape, your place in the queue is assured.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 30 2015
  

       I would predict that before long, people will invent bungee versions of pretty much all sports that either incidentally or primarily involve a person moving somehow from somewhere to somewhere else, such that they then are forcibly coerced to reverse their traversal.
Ian Tindale, Jul 30 2015
  

       We tried bungee darts. Once.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 30 2015
  

       Bungee ballroom dancing.
pocmloc, Jul 30 2015
  

       You're not taking this seriously, [bigs].
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 30 2015
  
      
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