h a l f b a k e r y
(Serving suggestion.)
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Inspired by the stationary bike who keeps telling me to "keep holding sensors for heart rate" every time I take a hand off to scratch myself.
These annoying warnings are everywhere: how to open the seatbelt buckle on the plane, how severe penalties are for copying DVDs, etc.
We could have all these
warnings to transmit a unique radio-frequency IDs, that are received by an implant in your tooth* which stores the IDs of the warnings you see. After some repetitions the implant responds to the warning-issuing device that you have already seen this particular warning, thank you very much, now please show my current speed again!
*The implant can be anywhere, but the tooth position has these advantages:
1) It can be intuitively controlled by clenching your teeth, which is a natural reaction to the annoying warnings.
2) luxury models can include an FM-receiver
Liebeck v. McDonald's Restaurants
http://en.wikipedia...onald's_coffee_case
[nuclear hobo, Aug 24 2007]
[link]
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...but I already know to ignore this stuff - it kinda comes naturally. perhaps I have an instruction booklet for myelf? |
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Certainly, you can ignore it, but this stuff often covers or obscures the important information -- like how many miles I have traveled on the stationary bike -- and that is why I want these things suppressed. |
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Yes, it's a pain. It would be so easy to turn this one into a list. Nice, daft solution [+]. |
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The DVD piracy message is a particular grind because : |
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i) I've paid for the thing and really do not like the insinuation that I will commit crime and copy it unless someone rams a patronising message down my throat every time I play it. My car does not read the Road Traffic Act to me every time I put the key in the ignition and my cutlery does not have "Don't stab people" stamped on the handles. |
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ii) I'd be amazed if it made any difference at all. |
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iii) In Canada we get a fekking FBI pirating message - despite what they might believe we're not in their bloody jurisdiction. |
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iv) I suspect that out of sheer irony a good number of the pirated copies will have the offending message removed by some clever bod anyhow. |
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The real answer is for consumers to wield a bit of power and make it clear that we want the flexibility to switch off such messages in our products where possible. |
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A far more satisfying solution would be to kill the lawyers responsible for 98% of these "helpful messages", the vast majority of which are designed to limit corporate liability after lawyers successfully sued on behalf of clients whose most predominant feature is the ability to operate a human body from a single neuron. |
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This reminds me of a speech an
engineering teacher of mine once gave: |
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"It used to be that engineers would
simply solve the problem presented to
them. If our job was to design a hair
dryer, we designed a hair dryer. There
were no warnings on it. It was
understood that the hair dryer is to be
used to dry your hair after leaving the
shower. It just makes sense. Now we
not only have to solve the problem
presented to us, but also predict what
some idiot might do with the product.
Then there must be a warning. Look at
a hair dryer. Right there on the cord it
says 'do no use in shower'. Of course It
wasn't designed for use in the shower
because that is stupid, but now we
engineers must consider the moronic
applications the general population may
attempt." |
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Or something along those lines. I doubt
the engineers have to think the stuff
up, but the speech was funny
nonetheless. |
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