h a l f b a k e r yViva los semi-panaderos!
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College dormitories everywhere seem to suffer from the same vile pox on community living: Ice cream thieves.
These vile beings prowl the commons at night, feeding on the hard-bought ice cream of unsuspecting souls who depend upon the common good of others to leave their prized food in the only place
it will stay cold: the community freezer.
A rare few dorms will smile on the slightly felonious booby traps some ice cream owners will install in their desserts to deter demonic thieves. However, the nurse's office will only stay quiet so long about broken teeth, punctured esophagi and poisonings.
Most dorms passively allow these denizens of the underworld to go about their fiendish pleasures unhindered, claiming "Your name must have rubbed off" (Since permanent marker doesn't write well on ice) or simply asking "What can you do?"
Well, it's fairly simple, really. You can lock up the ice cream in an ice cream bag.
Virtucom's upcoming fall lineup of freakishly paranoid security devices includes the all-new ice cream bag. This stylish device, made of colorful plastic coated wire rope and crimped metal rivets resembles a net bag. Customized brass name plates can be attached upon request. The bag is secured by a specially designed drawstring, to which a standard padlock (sold separately) can be attached to lock the bag shut, effectively keeping your ice cream free of anyone community-minded enough not to actually destroy property for a few bits of someone else's cold sugary treats.
We currently have two sizes, specially designed to fit the one gallon, and two gallon containers, with more on the way. Next spring's catalog is expected to boast solid steel "WTCTTISITM: Conspiracy theories" containers for ice cream, tapioca pudding and coffee. these containers are being marketed as proof against casual theft, and poisoning attempts.
More expensive, but it's metal
http://www.instawar...00.0.7.htm?LID=cmjt
[21 Quest, Mar 18 2009]
7 bucks, this is what I had in mind
http://cgi.ebay.com...69781QQcmdZViewItem
[21 Quest, Mar 18 2009]
Pacsafe
http://www.corporat...y-system-p-530.html
Like this but for icecream? [simonj, Mar 18 2009]
The *not* purple sweet potato
http://www.worldcom...uide/rutabagas.html
RUTABAGAS YUM [blissmiss, Mar 19 2009]
Ice cream cage
http://www.facebook...fa42ee&id=666582522
Because wire crimps are expensive! [ye_river_xiv, Apr 03 2009]
[link]
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If you eat frozen yogurt this rarely happens. Theft
I mean. Maybe you should consider dieting? |
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Great idea, but the mesh will have to be smaller than the width of a spoon or it'll just get eaten through the bag. |
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Expect frustrated, would-be thieves to steal the whole kit and leave it outside to melt. |
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I truly like this idea...although you may want to pair it with a steel D-ring riveted to the interior of the freezer, with a loop of steel cable securing the bag to the freezer, thus preventing theft. The only rule would be that the facility manager must be provided with a key/combination to all locks used, for cleaning purposes.+ |
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Possibly... Most freezers come with steel mesh shelves, to which the bag could be affixed. Since they're removable, it may not be the greatest thing, but most college fridges have more than just your ice cream. Obviously, the more stuff is stored in there with it, the longer it will take to steal ice cream and shelf together, and the more angry college students there will be. |
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As per dieting... no real need yet, and as I live in California, chances are that frozen yogurt would diasappear faster thanks to all the health nuts. Besides, the ice cream is far cheaper. |
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You're right, I'd forgotten the shelves. That would be better anyway, because the D-Rings would limit the space inside. The great thing about your bag is that you could loop it through the bars in the shelf anyway without any modification. If I could give you another bun, I would! [+] |
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(shameless self-promotion) This would go great with my anti-theft thermos, so you can keep your non-frozen goods safe, too. |
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Another idea that may be of benefit to dorm-rats (I use the term affectionately, I've lived in dormitories before) is to use a small, cheap, 10-dollar lockable toolbox or tackle box from Wal-Mart or Home Depot to keep your food in. This could be used for frozen and non-frozen goods. |
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An easier solution is to find some flavor of ice cream that you like, but others in your dorm detest. |
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Trout ice cream, maybe? (Only for Iron Chef fans) |
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In Japan, they have a purple, sweet-potato flavored ice cream. I could never bring myself to try it... |
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Edit: I did some Googling, and apparently, sweet potato ice cream is quite popular in the southern United States, too. |
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Edit Edit: After more Googling, it seems that the purple ice cream I remember from Japan is not sweet potato flavored. It's some other kind of "root potato." Now I'm really glad I didn't try it. |
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Oh God 21...it's a rutabaga for heaven's sake not a
purple sweet potato. Right? I said right??? |
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Rutabaga (swede) and carrot mashed up with a bit of pepper is amazing. Maybe it was beetroot ? |
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That's the second extremely rude surprise I've gotten today, Bliss. The first was just a few mintues ago. My fiance walked in the door and told me she'd been in "a bit of a bender" a block away, and that I better go sort things out with the owner of the vehicle before the police got called. So I walked outside, go around the corner, and see a brand new-looking Ford Taurus sitting there. There doesn't appear to be any damage from my initial viewpoint (from behind), and then she tells me, before I complete my curcuit of the vehicle, my palms are sweating and I'm about to die from yet another expensive bill we can't afford, she stops me, and tells me she'd already dealt with the owner, and that he was very reasonable. As long as we're responsible and take care of it... we can have it. And she reached into her pocket and withdrew the keys to it.... then started laughing at me and the apparently hilarious expression on my face. Not funny, ok? |
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21 I was not being rude at all. Merely pointing out
a veggie to you in a loving and gently manner. It's
the bakery. I would only tease you because I love
you from the bottom of my purple rooted little
heart. |
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Sorry bout the car thing. YOU GOT A NEW CAR???
YIPEEEEE. i still have to take public transpo. Way
to go young sir. |
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Oh I didn't mean 'rude' like that! If you look it up on Dictionary.reference.com, I meant definitions #4, #9, and #10. No worries, Blissy. |
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Now would be a... bad... time to try changing Dictionary.com, right? |
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On the subject of ice cream security, <rant> those stupid
"tamper evident" containers are easier to open with a knife,
coin, or longish fingernail *without* any evidence of opening,
than by finding and removing the plastic tab </rant>. |
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Last Monday, I lost an entire two gallon container, so it was time to put words into action. I discovered that as envisioned, my ice cream bag would cost well over $40, so I opted for two metal organizer shelves, and some locks instead. [Link] |
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You know, a metal coffee can with D-ring on the side a threaded metal lid that screws on with a D-ring on the lid, with a padlock holding the D-rings together, would be about the right size to store a container of icecream in, and would be nigh impossible to break into. You could also use it for Hot Pockets or liquor bottles. |
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