h a l f b a k e r yIt might be better to just get another gerbil.
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Most of us have heard that riddle where a man is murdered with an icicle, and only a pool of water is left as evidence. That always sounded stupid to me. I never thought ice would be that sharp or hold up to a direct thrust to the chest. What if it hits a rib? Then thats you fucked, standing there with
a dull hunk of ice and an nervous look.
Instead, take two average sized bowls, fill them with water and freeze them. Take the the ice chunks out of the bowls and insert them into a large elastic tube sock, flat sides touching to make a roughly spherical shape. Let the police figure out how you killed a man with a damp sock.
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The icicle must be fired from a crossbow to be effective. |
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Wouldn't a crossbow be a bit of a clue next to a corpse with a gaping chest wound and a puddle of bloody water? |
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You may be right.
I must consult the oracle. |
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How about sticking the corpse-to-be in the freezer? Then when they're frozen solid, you could simply knock the head off, thaw the body out, and give Miss Marple a real run for her money. |
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(Most of the ingenous plot devices used in mystery stories wouldn't cause the police much grief at all: they'd simply do what they always do, and grill all the likely suspects. They say the way to commit a "perfect" murder is to pick someone you don't know entirely at random; but then the murder's not much use to you at all, is it, so how can it be perfect?) |
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I'm sure the dudes in CSI will solve this without too many worries (apart from their lack of hairnets, too much make-up and crazy-ass CG effects to confuse them). Being hit with ice no doubt leaves certain types of injuries. I also wouldn't discount the effect of a rock hard icicle being driven into someone's chest. If you want to avoid a rib, stab them in the gut, kidneys or throat. |
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bigsleep: I guess the victim will be iced, while the suspects will get the third degree. |
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It could be a D&D weapon, if you take the right assassin bonus feat. |
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Just use DRY ICE (frozen CO2). When it melts there is no puddle... |
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Like the lady who hung herself by standing on a block of dry ice and pushing it away. When the police arrived they arrested her husband because she was left hanging in the middle of an empty room with her legs dangling 3 feet above the floor. |
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It wasn't until they interviewed the local butcher that the purchase was discovered. |
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(probably an old wives tale - no pun intended) |
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<nemesis>This is a terrible idea. What do you expect from someone who was born to inbred dogs? Murdering someone with a sphere of ice in a sock? You might as well shoot a small chunk of compressed air at them.</nemesis> |
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1. Why does it have to be a sphere?
Why not just a big chunk? |
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2. Why does there have to be a sock?
Just whack your victim with the ice. |
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3. WTF, anyway?? This is an invention? |
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Weapons are not inventions. Killing a man is nothing new. |
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//How about sticking the corpse-to-be in the freezer// |
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You could, but freezing someone, knocking the head off, and letting it thaw would leave little markers or whatever you call thems, so that a CSI person could figure out that cause of death was freezing, then someone just knocked off its head and allowed it to thaw to try and cover it up. |
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And where would you get a big enough freezer? Sure, butchers have them, but people would notice if you just bought a body-sized freezer on a whim. |
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I always thought that the perfect murder was when you have a SUV with a front bar thing, a secluded country lane, and just some random person who was walking along. ie - auto-homicide. |
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