Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Out with the waste!
  (+6, -3)
(+6, -3)
  [vote for,

Nothing distracts the mind like a full bladder. Some lives are a running battle (so to speak) with the vagaries of the bladder - too full, poor control, or nowhere safe and pleasant to go. If you live in the United States, public urination is not an option. Diapers are bulky - and stinky! What to do?

BUNGCO introduces Incontipants! These plastic pants are worn under your regular pants, with legs that go down to reach the ground. When you let fly, your waste dribbles down the waterproof pantleg to the ground. Stand on a grassy spot, over a grate, or in an existing puddle. Police and passersby will be none the wiser!

After some difficulties with our beta test version, now with every pair of Incontipants, you will get a matching set on Incontispats, to protect your shoes. Also sold seperately.

bungston, Apr 04 2005

As found by egnor the last time we did this one: http://stadiumpal.com/stadiumpal_what.htm
[DrCurry, Apr 05 2005]

Oh yeah - the last time we did this one: penis_20extender_20...iscreet_20urination
[DrCurry, Apr 05 2005]

Magic Cone http://www.magic-cone.com/animation1.htm
For Women [darkboy115, Apr 05 2005]

Google search "protect one's feet from the piss" http://www.google.c...&btnG=Google+Search
[waugsqueke, Apr 07 2005]


       This is so creepy and weird, it might work! +
froglet, Apr 04 2005

       Sounds like your legs would get wet though
hippo, Apr 04 2005

       Ooh, Incontispats! I love shoes! Also, what hippo said.
Machiavelli, Apr 04 2005

       I can see a market emerging for incontisocks too.
hippo, Apr 04 2005

       BUNGCO recommends flipflops.
bungston, Apr 04 2005

       Flipflops won't protect one's feet from the piss, though. Too open.
Machiavelli, Apr 04 2005

       Perhaps they could come with a small water bag for "flushing"?
shapu, Apr 04 2005

blissmiss, Apr 04 2005

bristolz, Apr 04 2005

       Ick, ay.
half, Apr 04 2005

       /Perhaps they could come with a small water bag for "flushing"?/ The incontipants actually have "pockets" which open directly into the pants. By cutting off the inside front pocket of your pants, you can tuck a bottle of water in your pocket and surreptitiously "flush".   

       Feet do not need to be protected from piss. It is good for them. It cures athelete's foot.
bungston, Apr 05 2005

       Perhaps you can find some elsewhere that could use your help.
bungston, Apr 05 2005

       Reminds me of a funny anecdote I heard about Ivan "Ironman" Stewart. He's a famous racer in the Baja 1000, an endurance race. When racing he wears a catheter that runs down his pants leg and out the borrom of the truck, so he doesn't have to get out to, ahem, relieve himself. One time before competition, he had the catheter installed but it was still a while before the race, and nature called. Not wanting to go through the rigormarole of removing and reinserting the catheter, he went to the restroom and put his boot up on the edge of the urinal.   

       The someone walked in. "No wonder they call you 'Ironman'."
5th Earth, Apr 05 2005

       Great for women when in the great outdoors. Now women can pee standing up as well!
EvilPickels, Apr 05 2005

       Yeah, it would definitely beat squatting in the bushes and risk getting my bum bitten by a rattlesnake. Or a rabid squirrel.
Machiavelli, Apr 05 2005

darkboy115, Apr 05 2005

       Also a tree could fall on you
hidden truths, Apr 05 2005

       //Yeah, it would definitely beat squatting in the bushes and risk getting my bum bitten by a rattlesnake.//   

wagster, Apr 05 2005

       [Darkboy] - I thought that was yet another silly flash animation by a bored programmer. Then I looked at www.magic-cone.com.
wagster, Apr 05 2005

       Yes, it is very real.
darkboy115, Apr 05 2005

       So be afraid. Be very afraid.
Machiavelli, Apr 05 2005

       I don't think I like this idea. Your legs would get wet and sticky and generally pissy. You'd probably smell bad, too. If you didn't smell bad from a few feet away, you'd certainly smell bad in an intimate encounter, and would have to remove your Incontipants and shower immediately before any such occasion. Then, by the time you got out of the shower, you'd have killed the mood. I'm not giving this one a fishbone--just for originality. But I'm certainly not croissanting this, either.
disbomber, Apr 05 2005

       Sheesh, is your glass always that half-empty, Mr. Bright Side?
lintkeeper2, Apr 05 2005

       BUNGCO recommends that regular users of the Incontipants prepare their legs with a generous layer of diaper cream. This prevents undue wetness on the skin.
bungston, Apr 05 2005

       Make the garments out of wet-naps so they are self-wiping.   

       Or maybe mesh, and then you could spin around real fast like a sprinkler.
moPuddin, Apr 06 2005

       This page contains the only instance of the phrase "protect one's feet from the piss" on the entire internet. Well, two instances.   

       To keep it from running down the legs, couldn't you have a stow-able tube that would spout out from the side about thigh-high?
waugsqueke, Apr 06 2005

       //This page contains the only instance of the phrase "protect one's feet from the piss" on the entire internet.//   

       Oh, hey...that was my anno! Hooraaaaayyyy.
Machiavelli, Apr 06 2005

       Waug, I finally know what to put on my gravestone.   

       Wait. I want to be cremated.
moPuddin, Apr 07 2005

       You say it as if that's weird or something, [Bubba].
Machiavelli, Apr 07 2005


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