Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Make mine a double.

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Joyful Noise Crane

Joystick + Crane + You + CD = Entertainment
  (+11, -5)
(+11, -5)
  [vote for,
against]

Put Money in Slot
Sign release form
Step into cage
Strap on Hoist Jacket
Take hold of hydraulic joystick controller
Watch/squirm as Crane Claw you are controlling with joystick maneuvers towards you
Crane Claw locks on genitals
Scream
Release Crane Claw
Crane Claw makes lock with Hoist Jacket
Airbone
While airborne , notice as you wobble your way towards selection rack, the jukebox has grabbed CD which was selected by previous player (such as your elf and was playing selection which has now finished - all the while you've been airborne) from player and replaced it in appropriate, clearly marked spot.
Pick new CD
wobble
Put new CD in Player slot.
Press Play*
*By default - Press Play not only plays CD, but also releases the airborne participant to a chute and the participant emerges clutching a dime-a-dozen troll of some description.
thumbwax, Jul 29 2002

Inspiration http://www.halfbake...rabber_22_20Jukebox
[sctld] [thumbwax, Jul 29 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

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       Sounds kinky.
polartomato, Jul 29 2002
  

       so with a bit of practice this thing might actually leave your genitals alone? hopefully.   

       shirley, you get dumped down a little chute at the end clutching a teddy bear prize.
po, Jul 29 2002
  

       Modified last paragraph - teddy bears are too expensive though
thumbwax, Jul 29 2002
  

       Airborne - brings to mind a new birthing method with the pregnant mother jumping from the crane with a bungee cord attached to her upper back.
FarmerJohn, Jul 29 2002
  

       what music would accompany that? Farmer.
po, Jul 29 2002
  

       po: Well maybe "Rock-a-bye Baby" would be fitting as the newborn bounces on its own bungee, navel cord.
FarmerJohn, Jul 29 2002
  

       there would be absolutely no need to slap the baby's back then.
po, Jul 29 2002
  

       Why does it sound painful, bliss?
thumbwax, Jul 29 2002
  

       And you would want to do this WHY?
Aurora, Jul 30 2002
  

       how can you ask such a dumb question?
po, Jul 30 2002
  

       Really easily... I just type it. See?
Aurora, Jul 30 2002
  

       bilssmiss - she was calling me dumb dear, not a dump.
Aurora, Jul 30 2002
  

       just the question that was dumb - its what we in the business of "light relief inc." call FUN!
po, Jul 30 2002
  

       Um... so (po) does that mean you want one of these claws to the genitals?   

       And thanks for the clarification. I was starting to get a complex.
Aurora, Jul 30 2002
  

       I refer you to my first anno.   

       "so with a bit of practice...."
po, Jul 30 2002
  

       Actually, shipmate, events 7-9 are of the accidently optional variety. I don't understand the negative votes - by default, I'll attribute those to trolls/Autoboner/ignorant mofo's.
thumbwax, Jul 31 2002
  

       Some clarification needed: you're operating the remote control for the claw, trying to pick yourself up, pick your CD, plop it down into the player, and drop yourself down a chute instead of one of those stuffed animals, right?
RayfordSteele, Aug 01 2002
  

       I believe you are one who enjoys to blatantly harrass machinery with crude remarks and slang of tongue.   

       glory give me a doll.
rubyissues, Aug 01 2002
  

       Rayford - Yes to what you stated - only clarification would be that once CD is in the slot, the Crane automatically takes over and does the dirty deed. This is a preventative measure - releasing ones elf at an inappropriate angle or height might be disastrous. Motion detector activates the troll-drop-into-elf's-hands.
thumbwax, Aug 01 2002
  

       sex
josejay, Nov 21 2003
  

       why am I getting the picture of a genital controled jukebox?   

       must be said though,I am still in stitches at the thought thumbwax
Loft Nuthouse, Feb 19 2004
  


 

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