Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Junk Yard Monkeys

Redemption for the worst Safari Park vandals
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After years of practice, some individual monkeys and apes are expert at removing windshield wipers, mirrors and other projecting pieces of motor vehicle.

Those showing such promise could be trained up to remove light assemblies, windshields, bumpers, air filters etc. and gainfully employed in car wrecking yards.

"Percy, get us the front grille from a 1985 Kingswood will ya?"


"..and no teeth marks this time..."

ConsulFlaminicus, Dec 15 2005

(?) Scarecly worth linking, but Barrel_20O_27_20Shock_20Monkey_20Troops
Your Consulness, I submit...Exhibit A. [normzone, Dec 15 2005]


       Do I hear an echo?
normzone, Dec 15 2005

       No, you don't.
ConsulFlaminicus, Dec 15 2005

       Absolutely no relation to the link to the twenty-minute old monkey idea?
normzone, Dec 15 2005

       No. This idea has been brewing in me for a few days as "Monkey Demolition Team" where a human crew screwed car mirrors and windshield wipers all over a structure to be demolished and then trucked in a bus of Safari Park monkeys who would proceed to rip the structure to shreds. It was posted before I read the monkey soldier idea that you linked. {edit - on reflection, I'm not sure about that statement - in any event I thought that the monkey soldier idea was animal abuse and unrelated to my idea} I do not echo and regard derivitave ideas with some disdain.
ConsulFlaminicus, Dec 15 2005

       Ok...the charge of echoing is withdrawn, but I'll leave the record stand.   

       A well trained monkey would probably be more cooperative than the junk yard personel I've dealt with in the past.   

       And they would work for...(insert fruit, vegetable, or legume of choice here).
normzone, Dec 15 2005

       Thank you [normzone] ..and if you had a couple of large baboons, the Junk Yard Dog could also be retired.   

       Being ex-safari park inmates, these chaps would probably prefer to be paid in popcorn, fairy floss, gnu kibble and child's hair ornaments.
ConsulFlaminicus, Dec 15 2005

       He he he, monkies.
MikeOxbig, Dec 15 2005

       can we pay them in bananas or do they want cash?
ShadowFire666, Dec 15 2005

       Gone from champagne to white wine, but if we can reschedule, I'll join you on another occasion. What kind of whiskey?
normzone, Dec 15 2005

       Clyde, scrap the caddie...   

       From "Every which way you can".
Jinbish, Dec 15 2005

       There are parrots in New Zealand that I understand would augment the monkey staff most productively.
DrCurry, Dec 15 2005

       We humans sure seem to love our monkeys, and windmills...there's gotta be a great idea in there somewhere.   

Zuzu, Dec 16 2005


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