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Kopi cat

  (+5)
(+5)
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Kopi Luwak is one of the most expensive coffees in the world. It is produced, of course, by feeding coffee berries to civets, and collecting the beans after they've been through.

Now, I am reasonably certain that this process was not arrived at by a process of systematic experimentation. I doubt very much that "civet" was number 38 on someone's list of "Animals I have tried feeding coffee berries to in order to produce a flavoursome coffee."

Instead, it seems more likely that civets are one of very few animals which (a) will eat coffee berries (b) will not chew them up and break the beans (c) occur naturally in coffee-producing areas and (d) are abundant and domesticatable.

This, in turn, strongly suggests that there is nothing particularly unique about the civet gastrointestinal tract when it comes to flavouring coffee beans. In all likelihood, any omnivorous mammal's gut will achieve essentially the same result.

On a different and (at first sight) unrelated topic, unemployment in Britain is still running at around 8%. These 8% of people are, in many cases, underqualified and unskilled. They are also, by and large, omnivores.

Maxwell Towers Coffee (we had legal issues with some of our proposed brand names) is, therefore, proud to announce the imminent launch of its Kopi Manusia range of coffee beans, available roasted or in medium and fine grinds.

MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 17 2012

Good to the last drop! http://en.wikipedia.../wiki/Maxwell_House
Origin of slogan, seems appropriate [csea, Oct 17 2012]

[link]






       Since I'm not a coffee drinker, [+]. Please market your product with humorously misleading packaging.
Alterother, Oct 17 2012
  

       //market your product with humorously misleading packaging//   

       Our advertisements feature a happy, smiling and clearly well-to-do young couple and their two children. What could be misleading about that?
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 17 2012
  

       "Maxwell Towers: good to the last plop!"   

       yeah, their lawyers are gonna love you.
FlyingToaster, Oct 17 2012
  

       //Lack of evidence is not necessarily evidence of lack.// Well, I must say that the HB is the last place I expected to find pedantry. However, there is definitely an absence of lack of non-evidence that the gastrointestinal tracts of other, non-civet omnivores does not fail to be unincapable of achieving the desired flavour.   

       Chew on that, lawyers.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 17 2012
  

       I'm gonna go, out on a limb here, ruminating that civets spray their product with their unique scent glands.
FlyingToaster, Oct 17 2012
  

       Nope. Animals don't generally spray their poop with scent.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 17 2012
  

       //that's so wrong// Well, it's early: I'm not worth anything 'til I've made my first cup of the day.
FlyingToaster, Oct 17 2012
  

       Comin' right up...
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 17 2012
  

       Following the idea to its logical conclusion, it is apparent that it is possible by this method to "make your own" intestinally-processed coffee, from berry to cup, without leaving the comfort of your own home (if any).   

       Volunteers are sought for proof-of-concept.
8th of 7, Oct 17 2012
  

       //I'm not worth anything 'til I've made my first cup of the day.//   

       It occurs to me that you have a bootstrapping problem here.
ytk, Oct 17 2012
  

       //underqualified and unskilled [...] omnivores//   

       yeah... and what ELSE can you get them to eat? Something which easily crosses the excrement/brain barrier (if any)?
lurch, Oct 17 2012
  

       That this should remain strictly a civit doodie is grounds for dismal.   

       Ahh... Maxwell Towers. Good to the last dropping!
csea, Oct 17 2012
  

       // and what ELSE can you get them to eat? Something which easily crosses the excrement/brain barrier (if any)? //   

       A lot of them swallowed the idea of Tony Blair as Prime Minister …
8th of 7, Oct 17 2012
  

       Well! I was going to get all Indonesian-pedantic and point out that the name should be Kopi Orang, but I looked up 'manusia' and find that is not only (also) correct, but more likely to be misleading. Good one, [MaxB].   

       (I'd also like to brag about the fact that I have seen a luwak, in the wild. Well, not actually in the wild, since somebody had just lassoed it and dragged it into the roadside café, but we were way up in the mountains of Sumatra, it was after midnight and it was raining like hell.)   

       May I suggest sending the coffee berries through with flavorful foods? I'd sign up to produce all the truffle-flavored coffee beans you want ... either kind of truffle.
baconbrain, Oct 18 2012
  

       //either kind of truffle.// Avoid man-truffles.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 19 2012
  

       Dark Roast.... shudders
xenzag, Oct 19 2012
  

       //I was going to get all Indonesian-pedantic...//   

       As Sturton always used to say, when travelling in those parts, "Penjaga kambing bertele-tele jarang tidur pada kacang." There's a message there for all of us (as opposed to Thailand, where there's a massage there for all of us.)
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 19 2012
  
      
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