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Land Shark

Reverse SCUBA suit for your shark
  (+15, -2)(+15, -2)
(+15, -2)
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Rich people love dangerous pets and I bet many have sharks, but how dangerous is a shark that is always behind thick glass, they would be much scarier if they could roam around, so give them a reverse SCUBA suit and let them roam the grounds for your next episode of Cribs. "Yeah I used to have dobermans, but now I have great whites."

So start with a watertight neoprene suit tailored to your new "pet", and add semi-rigid ribs all along it's length and add a loop around where the dorsal fins protrude to keep structural integrity as sharks are not used to gravity, so the system need to form a G-suit that floats the shark in a thin layer of salt water. Longitudinally along the top run a drip hose that would leak salt water with a matching drainage line longitudinally along the bottom to keep the temperature controlled water layer fresh on the outside if the shark.

The ribs in the front would be supported by pairs of tires. The ribs on the tail would each have a similar tires except hinged like the front wheels of shopping carts but limited to a slight castor change. This should allow the shark self propulsion.

The eyes would be covered by auto tinting salt water filled googles. The mouth would be left to open, but when it did there would be misters to keep it wet.

A large hose would go to the back of the mouth to pump water thru the gills. The water would then be exhausted out the gills, re- oxygenated, filtered, and thermally corrected by a back pack before being pumped back in the mouth.

Now clear the cars from the courtyard and let him roam free!

MisterQED, Dec 16 2007

Smaller version Roaming_20Goldfish_20Bowl
[theleopard, Dec 17 2007]

Take your pet fish for a swim Pondorama!
[theleopard, Dec 17 2007]

Shark kills kangaroo http://news.bbc.co....pacific/7142453.stm
BBC News story [hippo, Dec 17 2007]

Scientific study shows.... http://www.theonion..._not_so_intelligent
[4whom, Dec 17 2007]

(??) Land Shark (D&D version) http://emeraldlich....ram-land-shark.html
The first thing I thought of when I read the title [simonj, Dec 19 2007]

[link]






       I wouldn't want to be the mister that keeps the shark's mouth wet.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 16 2007
  

       Will the shark SCOLBA (Self-Contained On Land Breathing Apparatus) kit come with a shark pooper-scooper ?   

       "Darling, you need to go and clean up again...... Poseidon has left little messages all over the lawn ..."   

       Question: When your shark is old enough, will the law oblige it to got to school ?   

       Why not go the whole way and adapt this for catfish, you sick, twisted madman ?
8th of 7, Dec 16 2007
  

       ... for some reason everytime I read this (and the "Walk your Shark" posting), I envision a Villain loosing a small pack of such equipped sharks in the middle of Main Street.
FlyingToaster, Dec 16 2007
  

       A shark that waddled instead of swimming would lose much of its menace. Given a little space to manoeuvre, my money would be on the bloke with the baseball bat.
pertinax, Dec 16 2007
  

       //A shark that waddled instead of swimming would lose much of its menace//   

       depends... how fast can a 20' shark waddle ? (and who wants to test it)   

       //Given a little space to manoeuvre, my money would be on the bloke with the baseball bat//   

       Mine would be on the bloke putting his tennies to good use.   

       [+]'d mostly because none of my neighbours seem to be aquatically-inclined... interesting to find out where that sort of thing would be legal (assumedly because nobody's either thought of it before, or lasted past the experimentation stage)
FlyingToaster, Dec 16 2007
  

       The shark won't waddle, it will roll under it's own power. The side movement of the shark's tail will angle the wheels under the tail to push the shark forward like a skaters motion. The front wheels will steer based on the curvature of the front of the shark's body. There are no brakes, just rolling friction which should be analagous to hydrodynamic drag the shark is used to. Assuming the shark can negatiate a "small" tank then he should also be able to negotiate a small parking lot with this system. The one thing that is missing is the ability to bump into a wall at an angle and slide along it, but that should be avoidable as long as the sides of the lot are well marked.   

       And yes, the poop would be significant.
MisterQED, Dec 16 2007
  

       I thought this was going to be about that shark that eats kangaroos (see real BBC news story - linked)
hippo, Dec 17 2007
  

       Will you loan me one? I'd like to see this.
skinflaps, Dec 17 2007
  

       //They're quite dangerous in those circumstances// - evidently not as dangerous as sharks though.
hippo, Dec 17 2007
  

       Why stop at a parking lot ?   

       a) shark is fitted out for scuba suit   

       b) VR goggles and a "Lawnmower Man" setup are used to teach the shark how to operate in a land environment (ie: grass is more difficult to navigate, can't slide across walls, etc)   

       c) Let Rover out for a spin with the other pets   

       OK, you might have to do a little electronic substitution to enhance out-of-water senses.
FlyingToaster, Dec 17 2007
  

       How dangerous is a shark with a plexiglass helmet? I point you to an "Onion" article about dolphins not being quite so intelligent on land.
4whom, Dec 17 2007
  

       //article about dolphins not being quite so intelligent on land//   

       "ain't so smart now are you, grinnin' bottlenose freak, blow *that* out your blowhole"
FlyingToaster, Dec 17 2007
  

       Hey, UnaBubba is back!
GutPunchLullabies, Dec 17 2007
  

       Yes, but he's being played by a completely different actor.
Ian Tindale, Dec 17 2007
  

       // he's being played by a completely different actor //   

       But he gets away with it, because in the first three films he had that black helmet on his head until nearly the last scene .......
8th of 7, Dec 17 2007
  

       "The fight of the year, coming live to a Halfbakery thread near you soon ! The Death Star versus the Borg Cube for the Evil Championships of the Alpha Quadrant ! Fifteen rounds, the result to be decided by two total power failures, two depressurisations, or a vaporisation. No tie fighters, matter transporters, improbable plot devices involving time travel, or magic rings conferring invisibility on the wearer (eh ?). Numbers are strictly limited ! Book now to avoid disappointment !
8th of 7, Dec 17 2007
  

       <swallows blue pill>   

       <realises that was the *wrong* blue pill>   

       <shuffles off>
8th of 7, Dec 20 2007
  

       "Ok, good, Now just put the fricken laser beams on their heads".   

       Love the reverse scuba concept.
zen_tom, Mar 01 2010
  

       Baked in futurama as a smaller fish-suit with legs, though not like this [+]
xxobot, Mar 02 2010
  
      
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