Before you head out to work, just grab a partially used case of your beverage of choice. (for resealability, and incrimination reasons, I recommend Shwelmer flip tops, or beverages with similar packaging) containing full, empty, and partially empty bottles. Drop it in your car's trunk, and head out.

When you arrive at your work, take a few quick seconds to arm the security feature by shifting the case from the trunk to the cab of the vehicle.

Should your car be stolen, report it as such, just as usual. Then, using a separate phone, call in an anonymous drunk driver's tip, giving your vehicle's description, and a likely direction it might have been travelling.

In most areas, police departments have arranged for ways to distribute evidence of alcohol-related crimes, so beer drinking officers will have an added impetus for tracking down your vehicle, and you can handsomly reward your boys in blue as they deserve without crassly slipping them a tip or bribe. In areas where the police are complicit with car theft rings, the alcohol may provide just enough impetus to cause one arrest to occur.

Once caught, the criminals may face additonal charges. In my area, carrying opened containers in the cab is a crime in it's own right, as is underage drinking, should the prepetrator be young. Reckless endangerment is also a likely charge, and any injuries or deaths caused during a chase would likely be upped to far more serious charges. The perp would also face the possibility of rehab time on top of prison time.

And on top of it all, you have a nice hot beer to refresh yourself with whenver you feel the need... but please drown your sorrows responsibly.