Worried about car thieves? Afraid your local police won't do enough if your car is ever stolen? Worried that the thieves will just get out to seek revenge?
Not to worry, A little beer can solve that, and many other problems!
Before you head out to work, just toss a case of your favorite flip-top
beers into your car's trunk. When you arrive at your work, take a moment to arm the security feature by shifting the case from the trunk to the cab of the vehicle, and reward yourself for a safe drive to work by drinking about half of one. (You can of course half-finish one of the beers at some better time, if drinking half a beer before work is inappropriate.)
Should your car be stolen, report it as such, just as usual. Then, using a separate phone, call in an anonymous drunk driver's tip, giving your vehicle's description, and any likely direction it might have been travelling.
Good cops, or bad cops, all officers know how to party, and usually have a highly efficient process for photographing, and distributing alcohol related evidence.
With a case of booze in your car, you can handsomly encourage and reward your boys in blue without resorting to the crass use of outright bribery.
Moreover, in many areas, grassroots associations opposed to drunk driving have ensured the enactment of draconian laws that can now be used to further impinge upon the welfare and livelihood of the criminal element once caught.
In some states, having an open container of alcohol in a car is enough to count as driving under the influence. In others, it can be enough if the individual refuses to take a brethalizer test. Considering the generally resistant nature of most car thieves, liquid insurance is likely to lead to more DUI convictions. Some groups have even managed to mandate unconditional sentences for various reckless acts performed while "under the influence."
Feel free to help your local grassroot organizations in order to make "Liquid insurance" even more effective!