Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Lonely Workplace Ads

Give want ads a personal ad touch
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To improve the quantity and quality of job applicants, want ads should read like lonely hearts ads:

Plump, busty, law firm CEO desires contact with generous gentleman for attorney trainee position. Job requirements: height over 6 ft, likes sailing and pets. Looking forward to future partnership. Submit application to 'Springtime in Spokane'.

Divorced, 50 year old, Latino father of 2 teenagers and fast food restaurant manager is looking for non-smoking blond as temp. salesperson. If you enjoy evenings at home and square dancing, forward resume and salary requirements to 'Take another chance'.

Dominant, single, chief nurse seeks disobedient whipping boy, age 30-35 with 5 years experience, for position as personal assistant. My interests are HD cruising and breeding fighting dogs. Your background + photo equals quick reply from 'Sharp high heels'.

FarmerJohn, May 27 2002

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       might do wonders for office romances...
yamahito, May 27 2002
  

       I can't tell if these are help wanted or relationship wanted or both.
phoenix, May 27 2002
  

       Bizarre, off-the-wall advertising agency with utterly insane owner/manager seeks receptionist who types pretty fast, has a sexy phone voice, and understands basic filing concepts. It would *help* if you hair isn't dyed purple and you don't have nose rings...but hey, if you can type really, really, fast....you may still get the job as long as you realize that in *my* office, we listen to *my* music. (should also be willing to run personal errands for boss who tends to be lazy when it comes to picking up his own dry cleaning...)
runforrestrun, May 28 2002
  

       Recruitment ads seem to be getting increasingly wacky and stupid in an attempt to attract candidates, so I'd be surprised if this wasn't baked in some form or others. Of course, being as recruitment ads represent the confluence of Human Resources people and advertising executives, you would probably expect them to be fairly close to hell on earth.
pottedstu, May 28 2002
  

       Might be [lewisgirl]....
phoenix, May 28 2002
  

       Unemployed, unnattached, young half-baker and engineer seeks adventurous supervisor with an appreciation for creative drive in generating unprofitable ideas.
RayfordSteele, May 28 2002
  
      
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