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Luminous Dog Shit

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A great public service could be rendered by dog owners mixing a bioluminescent additive to their pet's food.

This would have the effect of making the dog's excrement glow in the dark, and therefore much easier to avoid while walking home along dimly lit streets.

Mickey the Fish, Aug 24 2000

Glow-in-the-Dark-Genes http://www.prolume.com/
Maybe add some off these -- I think they would be harmless to the dog. [eagle, Aug 24 2000, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Glowing Pork http://news.bbc.co....pacific/4605202.stm
Using these pigs in dog food might do the trick. [JephSullivan, Feb 08 2006]

Fluo-Can, as witnessed at 2011 British Invention Show http://buzzaurus.com/?p=11712
Dog buscuits which bake this glowing idea. [Dub, Oct 23 2011]

[link]






       In a pinch, you could use it to find your keys.
Scott_D, Aug 24 2000
  

       It might kinda make the dog glow as well.
eagle, Aug 24 2000
  

       You say that like it's a -bad- thing...
StarChaser, Aug 24 2000
  

       I believe that Mad Magazine already had this as one of their enhancements to dog food, along with magnetic compounds so blind people's canes could detect them as well...
supercat, Aug 24 2000
  

       The French actually have PoopPatrols, little motorbikes with kakasuckers on them...
StarChaser, Jan 11 2001
  

       Luminous dog doo....could save the local authorities a fortune on street lighting and even enhance road safety. Train all dogs to poop along the verges/kerbs and we would all see where the road went.
ickledinkle, Jan 12 2001
  

       And where the dogs went...
StarChaser, Jan 13 2001
  

       Shouldn't that be "Who let the dogs grout"? ROFLMAO! I like the whole dog glow idea. I been to Diablo Canyon and I can tell you it works. No road kill thanks to the nuclear reactor - nobody wants to hit anything with lights on it! That includes rabbits, raccoons, squirrels etc. Hey, mix bioluminescent (try spelling that three times real fast! And you thought that bubber gaby rubby mumpers was bad!) with welfare cheese. We can line all highways with glowing lane markers that will last forever courtesy of Pal pooch! Using radioactive isotopes would not only match the lasting qualities of the welfare cheese but the doo would remain warm and fragrant much longer as well.
jbodden, Mar 08 2002
  

       The ideal solution is one that stops the owner allowing their dog to crap on the pavement in the first place. How about:   

       - tiny explosive robots added to the food. They are primed by the process of digestion and activated by any subsequent contact with air. They explode instantly, with enough force to blow the back end off of a Great Dane - unless they happen to be in the vicinity of a special transmitter, installed in the dog owner's garden by the local council (too big and heavy to make it worth carting around with you).   

       OR   

       - once the nanobots are in the dog's gut, they ascertain their exact whereabouts using global positioning. Once deposited (within the belly of a turd) into the outside world, they do a quick check to see how far away they are from their first reading. If it's more than, say, 10 feet from that position, they assume they haven't been dropped in the back garden and make their way back on caterpillar tracks, carrying the turd with them: slowly but surely up the road, under the gate, up the front door and through the letterbox.
Saveloy, Mar 08 2002
  

       <rant>How about making the asphalt luminescent instead? That way you can avoid most anything that's *not* asphalt.   

       Or... wait! I think I've got a brilliant idea! How about putting some light in those dimly lit streets?</rant>
gutza, Mar 08 2002
  

       That's pretty far-fetched, gutza . . . .
bristolz, Mar 08 2002
  

       If the [luminous shit] idea is possible, just think of all the new possibilities! Instead of just throwing flaming bags of shit at somebody's house, it'll be all-new and exiting flaming bags of glow-in-the-dark shit (I'm going to patent this!).
Mr_Thundercleese, Mar 09 2002
  

       surely the firey qualities of the bag would cancel out the bioluminesence of the turd?
kaz, Mar 09 2002
  

       They would, but when the bag is done burning the shit would keep going strong.
Mr_Thundercleese, Mar 09 2002
  

       Luminous dog shit is now available in 8 fun colors:   

       1. Ale Glass Amber 2. Sunset Mauve 3. Periwinkle Pastel 4. Cherry Red 5. Neon Chartreuse 6. Natural Mocha 7. Catalina Blue 8. Orange Surprise
mneff, Sep 22 2003
  

       well now your all talking a load of shite
slarti, Feb 06 2004
  

       George Carlin had something like this in his act , feed your dog rubber bands so you can pick up the poo by the bands and shoot it into your neighbors yard
slapdash loser, Feb 08 2004
  

       [leprechaun]: "Oi! Lookit over there! My blimey gold's fell outa my pot! I'd better go get it before someone else does... what the hey? This isn't me gold!
*grabs leprechaun by beard*
[arrogant kid]: "Aha! A leprechaun! You always have gold with you, right? Where is it? Huh? Oh, nevermind! I see it...."
ghillie, Feb 09 2004
  

       What if you're lost in the dark? And you think it's some kind of light and pick it up? I wouldn't want the task of washing shite off my hands.
Daemonicbreeze, Feb 20 2004
  

       A bun from me for a good idea. How about UV sensitive agents? A blacklight would make them fluoresce, and only a trace is required.
Ling, Feb 22 2004
  

       I'm surprised that in four years no-one has mentioned that a British political party, the Monster Raving Loony Party, included this in their election manifesto. They promised to make flourescent material mandatory in all dog food. [link]

I notice though that the link only mentions that it was included in the 2001 manifesto, and [Mickey]'s idea was in 2000. Could it be that the Loonies have among their number a half-baker? And how many other ideas from this site have found their way into mainstream politics? The Private Finance Initiative especially reminds me of some of the half-bakery's wilder moments.
spacemoggy, Jun 09 2004
  

       Sounds like a good plan to me. In addition to helping us avoid stepping in dogshit, it would also be a boon to dog owners who actually bother to pick up after their dogs. You could let the dog out in the back yard to do his thing. Then, when night falls, it's a relatively simple process to go scoop up the glowing dump(s), thereby keeping the yard pleasant.   

       Could have unintended consequences, though, particularly if the luminescent agent made its way into the human food supply!
ThinkTwice, Aug 08 2004
  

       Why is luminous dogs poo and politics mentioned on the same page?
tasman, Aug 09 2004
  

       I've never seen or heard of a dog stepping in dog sh*t - and they have double the feet, with the rear ones out of sight. What's going on here?
seamus, May 11 2005
  

       (ack) They do sniff well don’t they, with pee investigation at the top of their list. Their sh*t avoidance technique must be a spin off – except for horse sh*t which they are very keen to roll in.
seamus, May 11 2005
  

       Kinda makes it obvious who stepped in the stuff at the cinema!
Apothecary, Feb 07 2006
  

       I have either sat in or stepped dookie when I have gone to outdoor field concerts where people sit on the grass or walk around the park grounds. People tend to let their dog relieve themselves in the middle of the field after dark. With the luminous excrement invention, not only will everyone know it when your dog takes a crap, but everyone in the park after dark will see it ahead of time and walk or sit elsewhere.
Jscotty, Feb 09 2006
  
      
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