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Mall-et

Public space with hammers. That's it.
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Tourists who come to DC always say, why is it called the mall if it doesn't have stores? (There is s giant open field at the center of the city called the mall.)

I found out today that the mall came from a Pall Mall which was originally a ball and mallet space, open space at the center of the city for playing ball and mallet games.

Being American we dropped the useless ball part of the equation and just kept the mallet part. Since then we have needlessly complicated things by drawing a metaphor between competitive mallet games and capitalist competition in the form of stores.

My recommendation is that instead of malls full of stores there should once again be giant open fields full of mallets, to hit eachother with. Maybe these are plastic padded mallets for safety with rfid alarms so they can't be removed from the space.

Or maybe just leave actual hammers out there, sort of like a dangerous play ground, and see what happens.

JesusHChrist, Mar 13 2016

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       A playing field full of sledge hammers for people to bash each-other? That's the idea? As much as I like senseless carnage this needs a few more minutes in the oven.
Voice, Mar 13 2016
  

       Would this post not count as microaggression?
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 13 2016
  

       RFID alarms won’t prevent them from being removed, merely inform that they’re being removed.
Ian Tindale, Mar 13 2016
  

       In early Iroquois days (Six Nations, in what is now the Great Lakes region of Canada and parts of the US), politics was done by lacrosse. The mall was the entire area of open fields between parties to the dispute. The thoroughly-effective stick was made of tough bent hickory, the frightening pocket made of sinew. The winner of the game won the argument...often because most of the opponents were bloodied and/or fatal-ated.   

       So, this idea was somewhat baked, about 10 000 years ago.   

       But I like how you've updated it, with the RFID and all.
Sgt Teacup, Mar 13 2016
  

       // plastic padded mallets for safety //   

       No. We much prefer the sledgehammer thing.   

       Or axes. Big, sharp axes. Axes are good. Axes are FUN ...
8th of 7, Mar 13 2016
  

       Pool noodles instead malls ?   

       Theft should be minimal since I have seen people leave them behind at the pool. Too much trouble to take them back home.   

       And it is very hard to hurt someone with the silly things.
popbottle, Mar 15 2016
  
      
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