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Marmite Rollerball

Convenient and controllable application of Marmite to toast
  (+6)
(+6)
  [vote for,
against]

Marmite (see link) is able to induce stronger feelings of love and loathing in people than perhaps any other foodstuff.

Personally, I'm a fan. I love it. Especially on toast. However, I'm very much of the opinion that it needs to be spread thinly and evenly on the (still warm and buttered) toast. Despite at least 25 years of practice, I still find that obtaining the ideal ratio of butter to marmite in the right thickness is more luck than design and the chances of getting a marmite hotspot where a glob settles are far too high. Various solutions have been proposed - one has been halfbaked by [jonthegeologist] - however none of these solves the problem of getting the right level of marmite per square inch.

Therefore I propose a rollerball application system similar in design to those used for underarm deodorants. It would then be possible to roll the Marmite on the toast in a thin and even manner, without tearing holes in the bread or getting hotspots of overintense Marmitiness.

hazel, Nov 10 2003

Marmite http://www.marmite.com/
[hazel, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Marmite Butter Buttery Marmite http://www.halfbake...20Buttery_20Marmite
A different solution to the Marmite problem [hazel, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Rollerball (1975) http://us.imdb.com/.../tt0073631/combined
Accept no substitutes. [krelnik, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Rollerball (2002) http://www.amazon.c...01-5660911?v=glance
Except this substitute. [Letsbuildafort, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

More Marmite info http://www.gty.org/~phil/marmite.htm
Information about the differences between UK and NZ Marmite and where to buy it [hazel, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Ethnicgrocer.com http://www.ethnicgr...669&cookie%5Ftest=1
Selling Marmite to the US [hazel, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

[link]






       I like the idea hazel for those that agree with your marmite-distribution preferences, but personally I quite like the 'hotspots' - they add an element of Russian roulette to my morning toast.   

       The packaging would need to be very clearly distinguishable from that of a real underarm deodorant although I suspect that marmite would burn your pores shut and stop you sweating quite effectively!
dobtabulous, Nov 10 2003
  

       Damn, I thought this was going to involve James Caan and a roller rink. Ah, well.
krelnik, Nov 10 2003
  

       a marmite spray would be better still. or marmite in tubes.
neilp, Nov 10 2003
  

       I think the Marmite might be too viscous for effective spraying, although I'm willing to experiment at home. Marmite in tubes wouldn't get round the thin layer application problem.
hazel, Nov 10 2003
  

       the ball of the roll-on does not have to be smooth. we like the smooth ones for our skin so that they don't catch and tear out delicate bits but this roll-on could have concave (perhaps even convex) dimples or slit type grooves (or all variants) to achieve that ad hoc application.   

       I know this is at odds to your original idea, hazel so perhaps the consumer should have the choice of smooth ball or odd ball. anyway +1
po, Nov 10 2003
  

       Make it Vegemite and I'll bite.   

       Note: I'm American, and my experience has been from Aussie and Kiwi friends trying to influence me to their respective sides. Results: I like New Zealand better than Australia, but Vegemite better than Marmite.
darksasami, Nov 10 2003
  

       I've not tried NZ Marmite - is it the same as the UK stuff?
hazel, Nov 10 2003
  

       [hazel] I don't know what NZ Marmite is, but Vegemite tastes ever so slightly different, discernible only to the experienced Marmite eater. I once shared a flat with some Australians where debate was constantly raging as to which was the best. + for this cos I have similar difficulties with Marmite spreading.
Mistress Bling, Nov 10 2003
  

       I see the madness in you logic and I approve. +
k_sra, Nov 10 2003
  

       I too was hoping for some kind of "Death by yeast extract spreads (on rollerskates)" idea.

(trivia: I was at school with the son of the actor who played the team coach in Rollerball)
hippo, Nov 10 2003
  

       [hazel] - nope the UK variant is sweeter and goopier - the Kiwi one is the pure version   

       *ducks for cover*
seedy em, Nov 10 2003
  

       <provides expected backlash>   

       Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good old British Marmite will never be bettered! There is nothing purer!
Mistress Bling, Nov 10 2003
  

       Bettered? purer? ... Anyone have any information reguarding its sale in the US ... Wal-Mart doens't seem to stock any ...
Letsbuildafort, Nov 10 2003
  

       Perhaps presliced marmite sheets? Like cream cheese rings.
waugsqueke, Nov 10 2003
  

       I'd rather eat the deoderant.
RayfordSteele, Nov 10 2003
  

       [waugs] - the thing with marmite, or vegemite for that matter, is that most peeps can only stomach a scraping of the taste; the merest hint of a suggestion of a flavour. it's not really the type of topping that you'd choose to eat by the spoonful
seedy em, Nov 10 2003
  

       // I'd rather eat the deoderant.//
And the container.
sufc, Nov 10 2003
  

       You could near on bake this in itself, or maybe has been done. Apply a cheese slice like layer of butter and marmite in plastic, that could be simply peeled and layed on the toast and if the toast was nice and hot you would get good meltage, plus you could have a nice range of patterns, stripes, circles for even distribution...
Supercruiser, Nov 11 2003
  

       [Letsbuildafort] Apparently UK Marmite (which is slightly different to NZ Marmite according to this link) is sold in specialist supermarkets in the US. Find a colony of expat Brits and Marmite will not be far behind.   

       I'm willing to send jars of Marmite to US (or other) bakers who wish to try it, as long as I can get it through US customs without them thinking it's some kind of WMD.   

       Alternatively try the Ethnic Grocer or other online food shops
hazel, Nov 11 2003
  

       But after you'd used it a few times, the rollerball would be covered by crumbs and butter. The afficionado only dips a clean knife into the Marmite jar each time - a separate knife for each slice of toast.
PeterSilly, Nov 11 2003
  

       That's indeed a good point [PeterSilly]. Leaving crumbs in the Marmite is a sin. Perhaps the cap of the rollerball could incorporate a wiping device?
hazel, Nov 11 2003
  

       ...which gets clogged up itself. What cleans the cleaner's cleaner?
PeterSilly, Nov 11 2003
  

       A cleaner cleaner cleaner of course!

hippo, come off it mate. Nobody's going to believe you. Rollerball was only made thirty years ago. You're just not young enough to have gone to school with the son of the guy who played the coach. Unless you'd come out of retirement to take a temporary job as school caretaker, that is. <snigger>
DrBob, Nov 11 2003
  

       [MrSilly] - how about designing the packaging so the roller ball was in a cap which could be unscrewed for cleaning? The Marmite company could then sell refills with ordinary caps for those of us who have already purchased the full rollerball cap.
hazel, Nov 11 2003
  

       Thank you [hazel] for the info ...
Letsbuildafort, Nov 11 2003
  

       I've gotten Marmite from US stores, and not specialty shops neither. I can't remember which, though--it was either Safeway, Albertsons, or Fred Meyer (where I live, they're right smack next to each other, and I go to them interchangeably).   

       When my friend from NZ came up for a visit, I don't remember him complaining. And there wasn't any sweetness that I could taste.
darksasami, Nov 12 2003
  

       aha, then perhaps the version you bought, [darksasami] was the NZ/Aus version. I've lived in both the antips and also London and can confirm English marmite is altogether different than the Southern hemisphere version
seedy em, Nov 13 2003
  

       Nice idea, + for anything to promote Marmite but I wouldn't use one personally as I can't stand weakening it with butter and I spread it rather thickly. Unlike [seedy em] I do eat spoonfuls of it. When I'm feeling cruel I'll do that when introducing Americans to it and watch the false sense of security cause them problems. Nasty but very funny.
stilgar, Nov 22 2004
  

       I'll give this a + even though I hate the stuff. It should eliminate the problem whereby an innocuous-looking butter knife harbours a faint but all-too-discernable tang of Beelzebub's bile (or Marmite as you lot endearingly call it), which is all too easily transmitted to my toast.
lyserge, Nov 23 2004
  

       this is a bloody good idea - voted already.
po, Nov 23 2004
  
      
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