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Mars - a paradise, but not for you.

Colonisation incentivisation
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The colonisation of Mars was meant to have happened by now (according to the books I read as a young laird). Alas, though, science and technology have gone all sensible and societally responsible, and have lost the fanaticism that put golfers on the moon. The only fanatics left nowadays seem to be religious zealots.

So.

Select any two reasonably wealthy religions who don't get along very well. I'm guessing Roman Catholicism could be one, but am then spoilt for choice for the other.

Do a spot of background research, and create suitably authentic relics, pertinent to each of the two religions, indicating that Mars is, in fact, the promised land, or where God hangs out, or where all those virgins are waiting. Ensure that each religion discovers its respective relic, and ensure that each knows about the other's.

In no time flat, the unlimited money and passion which is frittered and frotted in the name of religion will be redirected to claim the New Promised Land. Then, once the technical problems have been resolved, we can send along everyone else as a peacekeeping force.

MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 26 2010

Unspired by: Rename_20Mars_3a_20...rage_20Colonization
[MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 26 2010]

Or neither by: http://en.wikipedia...alaxy#Golgafrincham
[Ian Tindale, Sep 26 2010]

Xenu http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xenu
scientology's pet planet [xenzag, Sep 27 2010]

[link]






       if history is any indication the two factions would fight bitterly here on earth, neither would make any serious attempt to actually achieve their "goal" and a few charismatic individuals would become wealthy and get some extra wang on the side. A thousand years later historians will conclude that it was all about power and controlling the working class. mars will remain essentaily untouched.
WcW, Sep 26 2010
  

       Damn. I haven't really got the hang of this religious thing.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 26 2010
  

       I'm thinkin' that anybody smart enough to get to Mars, uh, New Earth would probably be able to figure out you photoshopped the Virgin Martha (from an unknown and therefore un-offendable religion) onto a picture of Olympus Mons.   

       "Lookie thar on the tee vee! It's our savior, the flying spaghetti monster up there on Mars! Cletus, you build the rocket and I'll have Ma bake up some possum pie to eat on the way."
doctorremulac3, Sep 26 2010
  

       I admire the way you present all your ideas [MB], but I have to agree with [WcW]. People will tear each other asunder over religious differences here on Earth, but I think they will fritter and frot unlimited money and effort only when there is great wealth in sight.   

       As [doc] points out, true religious zealots would probably sacrifice their goats (if not their own children) to the image of the Virgin Martha on Mars, but they would build an inter-space pipeline/railway/conveyor belt in a year if someone found oil/gold/free beer there.
Boomershine, Sep 26 2010
  

       Were the Americans really disappointed when they didn't find Elvis on the moon?
Loris, Sep 27 2010
  

       I remember a newspaper - I think it was the "Sunday Sport" once had a headline "World War II bomber found on moon!" with a picture of an aeroplane crudely photoshopped onto the moon. The next week, they had an even bigger headline: "World War II bomber disappears from moon!" accompanied by an unretouched picture of the moon's surface. Brilliant.
hippo, Sep 27 2010
  

       I remember that one!! Now, there's a newspaper I can respect. The other ones only seem to report what's already actually happened.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 27 2010
  

       //it was all about power and controlling the working class//   

       Aren't mono-causal explanations of complex historical phenomena a bit mid-twentieth-century, [WcW]?
pertinax, Sep 27 2010
  

       Isn't characterizing the mid-twentieth-century as a period of mono-causal explanations a bit stereotypical?
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 27 2010
  

       Isn't <we all know what goes in here> a bit stereotypical?
Boomershine, Sep 27 2010
  

       Why bother with Mars when Xenu is available, and far more exciting - see link.
xenzag, Sep 27 2010
  

       " A new life awaits you in the off-world colonies! "
normzone, Sep 27 2010
  

       "To guarantee your place on Olympus's mons, call now and pledge your donation. Only the quick will get a slice of this pie, brethren!"
infidel, Sep 27 2010
  

       before postmodernism basically torpedoed the search for an on-off switch. Doesn't matter if it's true, just so long as it works; as true today as it was a thousand years ago.
WcW, Sep 27 2010
  
      
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