h a l f b a k e r y
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For a small monthly fee, these hired servicemen will visit your house every day and remove any menus / advertisements / discount magazines that have been left in your yard or all over your doorstep.
Not only does this save you the nuisance, but, if too many menus and junk papers pile up outside
your door, every burglar will know that you are out of town. So it is protective, too.
(For an additional fee, the menu collector will choose one junk mail return address at random, and dump his entire collection outside that restaurant's front door at the end of the day.)
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||would a pitbull be cheaper and more entertaining?
||Well, it's not really the mailman's fault that businesses send you spam.
But I would endorse training a pitbull to take the menu in his mouth, go to the restaurant, run in, drop the menu on the floor, poop on it, and then come home for bacon treats and scratchies.
||i suggest a similar service that has your mail forwarded to them, then checks the sender, and sends loads of junk mail to anyone that you do not allow mail from. For instance, pizza hut wants you to know about their new specials. Instead, pizza hut gets their ad back, with about ten pounds of ads about other services. They get penis enlargement, roofing estimates, dog grooming rates & etc.