Metric Music

Pythagoras devised the tuning system which, at least until the renaissance, dominated music theory. It is based on the following proportions: Octave = 2/1 Fifth = 3/2 Fourth = 4/3. Later, 'even tuning' modified the Pythagorean system providing a more pleasing sound. However, we've been bored of it all along. Medieval monks invented modality to try to inject a bit of zing into diatonic composition, and from Bach onwards chromaticism was flirted with until in the 20th century had an efflorescence in atonality and polytonality, which even today everyone thinks sounds 'orrible. There are many tuning systems throughout the world, from the earscraping clash of chinese systems to the giddy trip of the indian. But they're just crazy.

I propose an entirely different system to all. The decimalisation of music. Making music metrical. In a flash, the tired old scale harmonies of western music will be rejuvenated as we translate the canon into decative music. It is also a statement of progressiveness. As more countries join Europe where the metric system is applied, it is important that the new look of the world is complemented by a new sound.

The rewards are enormous. Everything will sound like Captain Beefheart. No more Britney Spears or the Eastenders theme, no Sound of Music (unless we rewrite *that* song replacing doh-ray-me-fah-so-la-te-doh with the numbers 0-9 which are the basis of the metrical system in music (with semitones no longer called sharps or flats but rather a more objective and decorous .5).)

The main notes would be the cardinal numbers and the .5s between. Thus, there would be 20 official notes, with others available if the need for accuracy is paramount in a given composition (say, if writing a piece about the fact that the average number of arms is not 2, but something like 1.99 given that most of us have 2 but a few have 1 or 0 (thus, whereas 50% are usually above average it is the case that nearly everyone has an above average number of arms).)

The extra notes would require bigger instruments to make fingering possible by anyone bigger than an osmond, so music would become lower. This would spell the end to chirpy highpitched radio dross aimed at tone-deaf toddlers, and a new era of plaintively lower-register music. Which might usher in a more reflective era of history; perhaps a new Enlightenment sensibility would arise, and peace on earth.

I've even composed a song to help garner support for this project:

"7 diatonic notes - no thanks, I've got 10

12 chromatic notes - no ta, i've got vingt"

(repeat 9 times & DS al coda)

[It occurs to me that in the decimal system music would be even more receptive to mathematical permutation than it already is. We might see 'God Save the Queen' divided by 'The Star Spangled Banner' and performed in the National Theatre sounding like 'Land of Two Rivers']