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Micro Perforated Newspapers

And possibly nano perforated microfiche...
  (+6, -2)
(+6, -2)
  [vote for,
against]

Tearing content out of a newspaper can be a difficult undertaking. It's usually not worth doing things that are difficult, but sometimes there is an article or something in a newspaper that one may think is worth the effort of tearing out. Those who make this common thought-error know that newsprint tears follow unpredictable paths of least resistance that, while unpredictable, usually run right through the content that is being removed.

Different techniques for tearing involve removing a much larger section than is required, employing the use of various devices if handy, and creasing the paper; however, this doesn't always work and often results in smudged fingers and certain failure. The only practical alternative is the pre-perforation of newsprint on the press before newspapers are put into the once clean and undexterous hands of their readership.

rcarty, Sep 24 2009

[link]






       [+] Will bring us closer to a global scissors ban. WB [rcarty], aye tis the only place to get the crazy ideas out of yer head.
bigsleep, Sep 24 2009
  

       What about news stories on the back of the page? or will perforation lines run through the articles,or will newspapers have to print on only one side of the page?
CaptainClapper, Sep 24 2009
  

       Wouldn't work. CaptainC beat me to the explanation. Personally, I put the page I want to cut out on a hard, flat surface and cut it with my knife. Gets straight lines every time, doesn't require the alteration of the paper itself, and is fast and easy. Sure, it requires that a sharp knife be handy, but I usually have at least 2 folders (well, a folding knife and a Gerber or Leatherman multi-tool) on my person at any given time, so it's not an issue. If i do happen to find myself in the absence of a hard, flat surface, I use the scissors in the multi-tool.
21 Quest, Sep 24 2009
  

       i) Throw sheet of newspaper in air
II) Draw wakizashi
iii) Excise relevant portion
iv) Bow to applauding onlookers
8th of 7, Sep 24 2009
  

       //draw wakizashi//   

       Would that be freehand, or by use of stencil?   

       Sorry, couldn't resist. I do like that idea better, though. I always get nervous looks when I draw my knife and start cutting into the paper. I guess I might as well throw in a little showmanship.
21 Quest, Sep 24 2009
  

       // I always get nervous looks when I draw my knife //   

       We get nervous looks when we enter the room. Additional edged weapons don't make a whole lot of difference......
8th of 7, Sep 24 2009
  

       A lady at work yesterday commented that I look like a fencer when I play ping pong, after I won 3 consecutive rounds. Should've seen the look on her face when I whipped out my knife to slice open an apple right after she said it... priceless. This is, of course, the same lady who said I look like Johnny Depp a few months ago. Now if only she weren't so creepy... or at least was better looking...
21 Quest, Sep 24 2009
  

       Maybe you just need to lower your standards a bit ? it's not as hard as you think ....
8th of 7, Sep 24 2009
  

       And what did Johnny Depp look like a few months ago ? Was that a bad phase or something ?
bigsleep, Sep 24 2009
  

       I use a 12" rule to guide the tear. Hold it flat with one hand, and with the other pull the free portion of the newspaper up and slightly against the straight edge.   

       Admittedly it's not as impressive as a flashy blade, but it's all in how you use it.
egbert, Sep 24 2009
  

       Obviously, [Cap'n], the editors would take care that the articles on opposite sides are exactly the same length and position.   

       Arguments would rage between those who keep clippings (henceforth referred to as tearings) loose, who prefer relevant and related content on the reverse, and those who stick them in a scrapbook who prefer unrelated dulness.
pocmloc, Sep 24 2009
  

       Still doesn't work, pocmloc. The folks who post their articles pay good money for the page it gets displayed on. If the length of their article suddenly has to match somebody else's, journalists will find another paper to display their article in.   

       And while there are far worse people to be compared with than Johnny Depp, it's kinda creepy coming from this particular lady. She's gotta be easily twice my age, and half-again my weight, yet she dresses like a schoolgirl and flirts shamelessly with younger guys. It's just creepy, no matter how ya spin it.
21 Quest, Sep 24 2009
  

       so fold the paper like this /\/\/\/\/\/\ and put the articles on one side and the ads on the other.
FlyingToaster, Sep 24 2009
  

       // She's gotta be easily twice my age, and half-again my weight // She's 30 and weighs 200 lbs?
tatterdemalion, Sep 24 2009
  

       Considerably older than 30. And closer to 280, maybe 300 pounds.
21 Quest, Sep 24 2009
  

       //And closer to 280, maybe 300 pounds.//   

       Does that include VAT ?
bigsleep, Sep 24 2009
  

       If by VAT you mean Value Added Tax, then maybe, but I've no inclination to find out.
21 Quest, Sep 24 2009
  
      
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