Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Mission: HalfPossible

A Movie. Or a TV series. Or a book, or a play. Or a computer game. Or possibly evidience at a criminal trial ...
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Establishing shot: Jutta walks though an urban park.

Sitting on a park bench is a very strange looking individual, wearing shoulder length luminous pink waders, a hat made of tinfoil with an orrery on the top, and carrying a combined internal combustion pogo stick, umbrella and pneumatic rock drill. This individual departs by being hoisted into the sky by a rocket in their backpack, leaving behind a very large package wrapped in brown paper and hairy string, which occasionally shakes and emits curious animal grunts along with a strong odour of Rentisham's Flenting Wax. On opening it, she finds a classic wind up horn gramophone, except the horn is made of liquorice, the case is made from thousands of carefully interwoven hairgrips, and the needle is a spine from a saguaro cactus, which would be OK except it's still attached to the rest of the cactus... On pressing the "Play" lever, an articulated arm pops out of a hatch at the back, winds the handle, plays the record with the usual message, "Your mission, should you choose to accept it ...", then pulls out a hammer and smashes the record..... but keeps hitting until whole device is smashed to the accompaniment of humorous metallic BOINGGGG noises. .

The task is then to assemble a team of halfbakers to execute the mission, depending on the skills needed....

Perhaps the job involves skills with weapons, or explosives ... plenty of talent just waiting to be tapped. Perhaps It needs empathy and gentle persuasion; [po] and [blissmiss], step forward. Perhaps the need is for is closely-reasoned analysis, in which case [Vernon] is your man. Perhaps the challenges ahead call for the services of an acerbic antipodean misanthrope ... well, no problem with that one... or maybe it just needs completely surreal, off the wall stream-of-consciousness flights of fancy. Well, cometh the hour, cometh the man - [Beanagel], take one pace forward.

The Mission HalfPossible team - coming to save the World. Soon. Quite soon. Well, fairly soon, we hope. Well, in the foreseeable future, at least. Maybe.

8th of 7, Jun 07 2012

[link]






       awesome prose, just awesome
EdwinBakery, Jun 07 2012
  

       Fission: Halfbakable
rcarty, Jun 08 2012
  

       I'm not a misanthrope.
AusCan531, Jun 08 2012
  

       "In 2012 a crackpot commandoh unit was all set to frisson by familitary quart for a grime they didn't commish.
These mentals preemptively escarped from a maximus insecurity shockade to the Les Angles overerground.
Tuesday, still haunted by the covenment, they versive as mouldiers of opportune.
If you halve a problem, if no one elf can helf, and if you can wind them... maybe ewe can higher, the Eh-Team?"
  

       //The task is then to assemble a team of halfbakers to execute the mission//   

       Or else just to snort "Baked!" and lose all interest upon hearing the mission description.
ytk, Jun 08 2012
  

       with the theme music played on a theremin and Tesla organ combo..   

       Currently operating on a strictly "no little men = no [+]" rule. Sorry, but that's how it is, have to keep some standards dontcherknow...
not_morrison_rm, Jun 08 2012
  

       <A smug little grin pulls at the corner of Canuck's mouth, but he knows he had better not smile. A smile would cause the latex rubber mask he is wearing to fail, and his true identity would be revealed. The entire world would know that he is none other than... Canuck!>   

       OK, who's been messing with the latex faces? Isn't anyone willing to own up to it? I mean, come on! I have just one skill to offer the team - I wear latex faces. That's it! Gimme a break! I don't fool around with your guys' stuff.   

       Aww, geez! Look at this! Who used a Sharpie to draw a moustache on my Donald Trump face? That's not gonna come off...   

       <grumble, grumble>
Canuck, Jun 08 2012
  

       [+] Although I was so hoping for a Vuvuzela-scope to appear.
sqeaketh the wheel, Jun 08 2012
  

       Can they ride a hulliballoon?
Voice, Jun 08 2012
  

       Only if there's a cow suspended from it.
Alterother, Jun 09 2012
  

       Why does this remind me of the cartoon series MASK?
RayfordSteele, Jun 10 2012
  
      
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