Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.

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Mobile Masseuse

rubdown robot
 
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Often felt knead-needy while commuting, at a wedding reception or when reading “Crash Testing for Dummies”? This agile automaton will be all over you, massaging sore muscles and soft spots, relieving stress and promoting well being through lymph promulgation.

Based on a patently inventive, fishnet, body suit, the hand-sized robot crawls around on the inside using cog wheels on two axes, before stopping to rub you the right way. With street wear over the body suit, nobody will guess that you’re in cuddle heaven.

The mobile masseuse is superior to competing products such as Vendasage, Buttock Massage or Massage Suit, because its battery powered, body temperature, tickle-free fingers are always with you, doing a body walk.

Different folks can choose different strokes such as random rubs, programmed palpitations or radio-controlled caresses. Wind up your session by pulling on the fish net, ski mask hood for an in-your-face follicle and mug massage.

FarmerJohn, Apr 01 2003

(?) sketch at skin level http://www.geocitie...mobilemasseuse.html
[FarmerJohn, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

perhaps...more practical? http://www.drleonar...il.cfm?EDP=10324051
[OpheliaFrump]

Tickle Cat http://www.xs4all.n...ckle/TICKLEcat.html
Baked! [OpheliaFrump, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Tickle Cat http://www.xs4all.n...ckle/TICKLEcat.html
Baked! [krelnik, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Also from Ophelia's supplier http://www.drleonar...il.cfm?EDP=10272904
Aye Carumba! [FloridaManatee, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

[link]






       you sure it won't go wrong and rub you up the wrong way?
po, Apr 01 2003
  

       Mmm.. I'll give you a toasty croissant because I could go for a massage right now. I think perhaps you could give it a catchier name. Feng has a massage machine that goest by the moniker "Fitness Ambassador". The writing on the box belongs on engrish.com!
madradish, Apr 01 2003
  

       <Starts taking bets on first appearance of anno containing words "in your pocket">
egbert, Apr 01 2003
  

       <marty feldman>What 'ump?</marty feldman> +
Don Quixote, Apr 01 2003
  

       po: Only between consenting adults and machines, but no one will get knocked up.   

       ma: How about Four-Stroke Digital Roving Ambassador?
FarmerJohn, Apr 01 2003
  

       Picture?
egbert, Apr 01 2003
  

       that looks like an item of torture, farmerjohn
po, Apr 01 2003
  

       po: Ah, but its touch can be as soft as as a hungry kitten stroking past your ankle in the morning.
FarmerJohn, Apr 01 2003
  

       "What hump?"
krelnik, Apr 01 2003
  

       Hey someone baked something very much like this, see link.
krelnik, Apr 16 2003
  

       Kia already has Korean models, now that theyre cracking down on human trafficking. "me luv u long time!" bzzorrnt!
drpoundsign, Mar 29 2004
  
      
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