Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Moon Improvement Program

Increase the albedo of the moon by shooting reflective stuff onto it with a massive cannon.
  [vote for,

So the moon is nice. I've enjoyed it's various phases and performances in werewolf movies. However, it's really been a bit of a one-trick pony for some time. So, I propose a massive cannon be built, for this is the cheapest way to get stuff into space, and it works nicely if the thing you're putting into space isn't fragile. This cannon should be loaded up with big moon-bound shells containing something cheap, reflective and robust. Ground up quartz or something. Then, every few minutes an enormous BOOOOM! shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiik! would enrich the lives of all in the vicinity as another shell goes careering toward our nearest celestial body. Just before impact a small charge detonates the cargo, spreading it nice and wide on the moon's surface. Slowly, the moon's albedo will change from the ditch-water dull black-as-coal it currently is to a much more pleasingly bright light. Subsequently we can all save a bit on street lighting and crucially, night time camera shots will need shorter exposure times, leading to increased photographer productivity. A subject affecting us all.
bs0u0155, Jan 07 2012

The moon is actually as black as coal http://www.universe...oes-the-moon-shine/
[bs0u0155, Jan 07 2012]

Moon Lit Earth-based equivalent [pocmloc, Jan 12 2012]


       ooooh! we could use said cannon to slowly paint an enormous monochrome Union Flag on the moon, like what you see on the top of grey Minis sometimes... That'd irritate the French no end.
bs0u0155, Jan 07 2012

       Brie and Camembert are both quite pale.
pocmloc, Jan 07 2012

       //paint an enormous monochrome Union Flag//   

       I have to say that's entirely irresponsible and the kind of jingoism we have hopefully left behind..   

       //That'd irritate the French no end.//   

       But when you put it like that, I'll chip in 20 quid.
not_morrison_rm, Jan 08 2012

       Put us down for fifty.
8th of 7, Jan 08 2012

       Irradiating the French would be even more fun.
RayfordSteele, Jan 09 2012

       Have all your cannon shells impact on the right hand side of the moon to impart some spin.
AusCan531, Jan 09 2012

       [+] for massive cannon
saedi, Jan 10 2012

       This should be done as a ring around the moon.
Voice, Jan 10 2012

       As much as a ground based cannon seems@ˆŸ@(sorry, japanese keyboard issues there) how about a recoiless cannon, fitted to a triangular frame, with a hydrogen balloon at each end, float it 30kms up and need less gunpowder..let some gas out, got get it back, repeat..
not_morrison_rm, Jan 11 2012

       I suspect the engineering problems surrounding the building of a 30km arrow-straight barrel, and the aiming of said device, significantly outweigh the propellant savings.
bs0u0155, Jan 11 2012

       Also, a critical part of this idea is the near constant large explosive sounds produced by each "launch". If the barrel were 30km, then much less propellant would be used and the sound would be somewhat deflected. A much smaller "BOOOOOOOOOM!!!" would result, and the cannon would not enrich the lives of those around it with quite the same efficiency.
bs0u0155, Jan 11 2012

       Albedo figures:   

       Moon: 0.136
Coal: 0.05 to 0.1

       "The moon is actually as black as coal" might be one of those vaguely true but rather misleading statements. Coal has a rather wide range of albedos (hence "brown coal", etc.), but most people, when reading "as black as coal", will naturally think of a stereotypical lump of, well, black coal. It would be better to say "The moon is moderately brighter than brown coal, and nearly three times as bright as black coal".
spidermother, Jan 11 2012

       //It would be better//   

       s/better/more accurate/
mouseposture, Jan 12 2012

       Precise, even.
spidermother, Jan 12 2012

       //The moon is moderately brighter than brown coal, and nearly three times as bright as black coal".//

Bulwer Lytton beckons, spidermother!

They stood arm in arm beneath the bright glow of the moon; brighter than coal it shone...well, moderately brighter than brown coal but nearly three times as bright as black coal...although not all coal is the stereotypical black; coal having a wide variety of albedos (not to be mistaken with libedos which is a completely different thing).
DrBob, Jan 12 2012

       [DrBob] - that could only be improved if you can shoehorn the word "anthracite" in their somewhere.
hippo, Jan 12 2012

       Why thankyou, hippo. I suppose it would be churlish of me to point out your mistaken use of 'their' in that anno, wouldn't it?
DrBob, Jan 12 2012

       It would be a pointless act, anyway, as it would be impossible to read, by moonlight, a word that has been shoehorned in one's somewhere.   

       "As she bent over, the moonlight glinted on the word 'anthracite' which had been shoehorned in her somewhere." See, it just doesn't work.
spidermother, Jan 12 2012

       "Eat at Joe's diner"   

       How many letters could fit on the moon and still be readable?
popbottle, Dec 07 2013

       //a small charge detonates the cargo, spreading it nice and wide//   

       That can't be quite right, can it? The cargo isn't explosive. I suspect that the intention was more like   

       "a small charge is detonated, spreading the cargo nice and wide"
pertinax, Dec 07 2013

       or more simply "detonates" / "explodes".
FlyingToaster, Dec 07 2013

       A cautionary tale about changing the Moon's albedo: check out "Moon TV Jepsen" some time.. ;-)
Steamboat, Dec 14 2013

       // That can't be quite right, can it? The cargo isn't explosive. I suspect that the intention was more like   

       "a small charge is detonated, spreading the cargo nice and wide"//   

       If the cargo was powdered titanium and an oxidizer, you could detonate it. Leaving a nice white powder.
bs0u0155, Dec 16 2013

       Strictly speaking, titanium plus oxidiser would explode, but not detonate (unless the oxidiser were a high explosive in its own right, such as ammonium nitrate).
spidermother, Dec 16 2013

       I think titanium perchlorate is a viable explosive, however it might form an altogether unsuitable red-violet colour. The French might like that sort of thing... but it's got no place on the Her Magesty's Imperial British moon.
bs0u0155, Dec 17 2013

       I'm still waiting for Cavourite to be invented. I'm guessing an admixture of vegemite and something else.
not_morrison_rm, Dec 17 2013


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