Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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New Olympics running event

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The Benny Hill "Yakety Sax" 400m.
hippo, Apr 16 2012

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       How would you exclude serious athletes, who could just *pretend* to be fat comedians and then, running unsportingly in a straight line, overtake the women in bikinis?
pertinax, Apr 16 2012
  

       Or or or how about an event where the aim is not to travel as fast as possible but to cover the distance in a set time, perhaps determined by reference to a specific song, chosen from a list (Yakkety Sax, yep but also Biology by Girls Aloud or Threnody to the Victims of Hiroshima for longer races) at the last minute, steeplechase becoming more complicated with each jump tied to hi-hat or, in the case of races soundtracked by The Fall, gutteral yelp.
calum, Apr 16 2012
  

       For a more modern take, perhaps something by LMFAO would be appropriate.
RayfordSteele, Apr 16 2012
  

       Synchronized swimming to "Yakety Sax" - that would be...something.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 16 2012
  

       That's a good point actually. The music for synchronised swimming is always chosen to suggest that synchronised swiming is a serious art-form, like ballet, but there's no reason why this should be the case. Synchronised swimming to "Yakety Sax" or Cameo's "Word Up" might even be an improvement.

I'd also like to remind anyione who thinks this idea cheapens the nobility of the Olympics, that Olympics competitors used to compete nude.
hippo, Apr 17 2012
  

       The competitors are the wimmen: each get a double-handful of randomly chosen slobs to lead in a 1.5mile run at 5am. Points awarded for completion time and number of survivors.   

       Meanwhile enjoy the pastry [+]   

       umm... [marked-for-title]
FlyingToaster, Apr 17 2012
  
      
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