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Nicotine Coffee Break

Grind nicotine and pour coffee over it
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My employer, for some odd reason, does not to dock employees who take smoke breaks on company time. Four such paid breaks during the workday usually total about an hour of paid but idle time. This seems a waste.

As most of the smoking employees also drink coffee I suggest mixing one cigarette's worth of nicotine with coffee grounds in a standard Keurig capsule, the cost of which would be covered by the employer with the agreement that said employees would not take smoke breaks but remain at their jobs. Smokers could assuage their craving without interrupting production.

whatrock, Jan 15 2019

Dummy e-cigarette Dummy_20e-cigarette
Blatant elf-promotion [8th of 7, Jan 16 2019]

[link]






       Or you could just pump nicotine (and other compounds) into the air-conditioning system.   

       If the capsule contained a much higher dose of nicotine, the company could divest itself of all those troublesome carbon units that won't quit, without having to pay any severance.   

       A caveat; some very talented and hard-working people can find it useful to leave their desk, and go for a walk, or sit on a park bench for a bit. This doesn't mean they're not working; they may find it much easier to think away from the noise, bustle and distractions of an office. Often, solving problems doesn't need any actual equipment - that's only needed when the solution already partly exists inside someone's head.
8th of 7, Jan 15 2019
  

       //mixing one cigarette's worth of nicotine with coffee grounds in a standard Keurig capsule// That might actually be quite nice. But not a substitute for a fag break.   

       I guess it depends on what work you do. If you're doing manual work, a cigarette break is lost time. But if you do a thinking job (as I do), cigarette breaks are when you actually do the work, and time at the desk is just writing stuff up.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 15 2019
  

       The downside would be how easy it would be to accidentally induce symptoms of nicotine poisoning.   

       As a feckless youth I once achieved the effect by speed smoking three or four cigarettes (I forget exactly how many) shortly after the sandwich man had been.   

       The achieved result.   

       Clammy pale skin, sweating, a green tint around the gills & a definite feeling of unwellness.   

       I didn't even need to draw attention to how I felt, they sent me home without my having to ask or even vaguely suggest that I might like to leave early.. of course the symptoms had all gone within ten or fifteen minutes of leaving the office so I had a relatively pleasant work free afternoon.   

       Putting a cigarettes worth of nicotine in a cup of coffee would be a really bad idea for me the way I mainline caffeine, far too easy to repeat the feat without intending to.   

       I suspect you'd have a lot of people who drink coffee who'd have that problem if you did this, possibly even a few deaths.
Skewed, Jan 15 2019
  

       // The downside ... easy .. to accidentally induce ... nicotine poisoning. //   

       What if you want to deliberately induce nicotine poisoning ? No downside there ...   

       // possibly even a few deaths. //   

       Only a few ? That is a downside.
8th of 7, Jan 15 2019
  

       The strength could easily be adjustable. Just as commercial coffee has "bold", "medium", "decaf" etc Nicoffee could have "mild", "regular" and "swift kick" strengths in green, yellow and red capsules. Selection would be up to individual tastes and requirements.
whatrock, Jan 15 2019
  

       //you could just pump nicotine (and other compounds) into the air-conditioning system. //   

       This would also greatly improve retention.
Voice, Jan 15 2019
  

       The tobacco industry needs to do what big pharma did when they updated the image of meth by modifying a molecule and introducing the world to Adderall. Tweak a molecule of nicotine and give it a new name. Call it some kind of miracle cognition enhancement, weight loss, mood modifier drug.   

       Nortazine.   

       That just popped into my head. Nortazine by Remucon3 Pharmaceuticals Inc. As your doctor if Nortazine transnasal nebulization is right for you. Caution: Nortazine can kill you or destroy your life but since we warned you there's nothing you can do about it.   

       Make it a Nortazine day! (Show puppies, laughing healthy people, flowers, lovers walking on the beach etc.)   

       "Nortazine" is registered trademark of Remucon3 Pharmaceutical Industries. All rights reserved.
doctorremulac3, Jan 15 2019
  

       ...actually just show somebody taking a hit of Nortazine and a bunch of puppies laughing, flowers walking on the beach etc.
doctorremulac3, Jan 15 2019
  

       ^ Well, that would more likely be an ergotamine derivative rather than a nicotinoid alkaloid, but it's a good plan nonetheless.
8th of 7, Jan 15 2019
  

       //Nortazine// No no no. That will never do. Pharmaceuticals always need two names. The first name is always rather geeky, unpronounceable and bears some relationship to the chemical structure of the drug - for example "Trastuzamab" (yes, really). That name is only used in medical journals and on death certificates.   

       The second name is how it's marketed, and is much more important than either the geek-name OR its actual effectiveness. This second name should have some sort of implication of goodness. For example "Wellbutrin" (it makes you feel more well), "Herceptin" (it's used for breast cancer, which mainly affects hers; and it intercepts cancer cells) or "Panadol" (which sounds like panacea + alcohol).   

       "Nortazine" sounds like it might explode or something.   

       If it's any help, we just fired the entire MaxCo. marketing team - I can point some of them your way if you like.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 15 2019
  

       // "Nortazine" sounds like it might explode or something. //   

       Yes, that's probably what we find most attractive about it - some sort of metastable azide.
8th of 7, Jan 15 2019
  

       How about “Lovixomax”?   

       Does anybody have a drug specifically for breakups? Not a drug that can be taken for emotional distress, I know there are lots of those, one specifically for somebody who’s going through a painful relationship dissolution?   

       God, this industry is downright evil isn’t it?   

       Happitozil. Joylexomine. Euphoromax. Too obvious?
doctorremulac3, Jan 15 2019
  

       //Does anybody have a drug specifically for breakups?//   

       I think a strong laxative in your partner's soup will practically guarantee a breakup.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 15 2019
  

       ^ That sounds awfully specific, I pity your (presumably) ex-wife, has she got over it yet?
Skewed, Jan 15 2019
  

       The jury's (literally) still out on that one, but [MB]'s bathroom visits are down to one every two hours now.
8th of 7, Jan 15 2019
  

       The real solution is to get a vaping pen and some non nicotine based liquids which you can pretend to smoke while enjoying a free 10 minutes outside, or take a coffee.
bigsleep, Jan 16 2019
  

       //Four such paid breaks during the workday usually total about an hour of paid   

       Nyet comrade, 4 rollies = 16 minutes + walking time.   

       Predictably, there is an energy drink containing nicotine in Japan.   

       In fact, there's probably more than one but I can't be arsed to track them all down.
not_morrison_rm, Jan 16 2019
  

       //The real solution is to get a vaping pen and some non nicotine based liquids which you can pretend to smoke while enjoying a free 10 minutes outside//   

       That sounds like the core of a postable idea.
Skewed, Jan 16 2019
  

       Or, <link>.
8th of 7, Jan 16 2019
  
      
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