Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Ninja Star Can-Opener

Eat tasty food: Make ninja stars
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For more fun, read aloud: Move or not move lips accordingly!

The can tops you throw out are sharp. I see a solution to the ninja in the field or at home.

This electric can-opener is seemingly normal. However, this ninja can- opener does not move the can around in a regular circle, but back and forth with a swivel blade to make a ninja star, every time.

For the ninja in the field, this throwing star has a broader blade after the sharp points. Perfect for opening heavy steel cans. Never run out of stars again!

Enjoy this tasty meal that was prepared for you. It could be your last!

sartep, Nov 21 2003

[link]






       Aww, where's [deathninja] for this one?
Letsbuildafort, Nov 21 2003
  

       I was thinking he would love this.
sartep, Nov 21 2003
  

       death been missing for ages..
po, Nov 21 2003
  

       I seem to recall that those old fashioned manual tin openers that were little more than a spike with a hooked blade created pretty lethal edges.
DrCurry, Nov 21 2003
  

       I remember [dn] from the ages long before my first posts ... I really enjoyed his comedic stylings
Letsbuildafort, Nov 21 2003
  

       I haven't seen [dn] for a while. Hope (s)he's ok. I say (s)he, but I'm fairly sure (s)he's a he.
hazel, Nov 21 2003
  

       The opener will need some way of knowing what the diameter of the lid is to make it come out even.
phoenix, Nov 22 2003
  

       Good one, [sartep]. (+). Perhaps this will rouse [death], I also miss his/her ideas and annos.
lintkeeper2, Nov 22 2003
  

       It could make an incision in the can and go completely around until it finds the incision again. Then an onboard computer would calculate the size of the blades. That good, Phoenix?
sartep, Nov 22 2003
  

       (+) but what if it makes the ninja star, then compleatly cuts off the top so I don't have to reach around the sharp points left to get that last diced tomato that got caught.
dickity, Nov 22 2003
  

       You then reach in there and take the tomatoes out, problems of your flesh shall not taint your mind.   

       Or you can put it in that can opener that cuts neatly around the outside and doesn't make a sharp edge.   

       The choice is yours.
sartep, Nov 22 2003
  

       G++d
thumbwax, Nov 22 2003
  

       so this isn't a can opener, it's a ninja star maker.
dickity, Nov 22 2003
  

       Is the can opened or closed after using this item?
sartep, Nov 22 2003
  

       Even if another device were to make a small opening in the can it could be called a can opener.   

       Schroedinger's Can Opener would be perfect for opening that can of Uranium Kitten Gun mix. And as soon as you open the can you find out if it is fresh kitten or dead kitten.
sartep, Nov 23 2003
  

       This is a pretty good idea. If I may add something. You could have the divice open the can normaly, then have it use a cookie cutter like device to punch out the ninja star, much like the U.S. mint works, sorta like a cookie cutter. Cans are pretty thin so if you had a big enough lever applying the force or just use a high amount of reduction gears, it shouldn't be a problem. I'd buy one no doubt. you got a +
thelambs, Dec 03 2003
  

       Can you change it to cut out the Star of David or the Sar of Bethlehem to spice up the holiday season? Hang them on your Christmas Tree, or the Menorah, not in that order.   

       (For the sake of brevity, the other 3823 (or was it 3824) religious symbols are not mentioned.)
Epimenides, Dec 03 2003
  

       I cut off my tongue licking the lid before flinging it at my assailant. I shall be ok as my voice is being dubbed (badly) and I have no need for my tongue to speak.
Captain_Ignorant, Dec 03 2003
  

       Ah yes thelambs, very good. However, you forget that only an electric can opener can make tiny micro hooking spikes to rip flesh on a painful level. Your cookie cutter is not a bad idea, you can punch a whole in the center to add a throwing weight disc and more force to your blades.   

       Epimenides, cut out seasonal stars from seasoning cans to give seasons greetings enemies will not soon forget? Hmmm, not bad.   

       Captain Ignorant, only cut off your tongue to spit blood in the eye of your nemesis.   

       Honorable, UnaBubba. I invite you to fight me while I serve you a tasty snack of death! As you see behind me, these are not nachos, they are poison tipped stars.
sartep, Dec 03 2003
  

       "So you're not afraid of death then. Right!"
<throws star dripping with creamed corn>
k_sra, Dec 11 2003
  

       If this device left behind an opened can with a star-shaped hole in the top then it would be ideal for beheading seagulls when the can finally makes it to the tip. I'm for the variations which remove the unused bits of sharp tin-top.
dobtabulous, Dec 11 2003
  

       Curses! He's using the creamed corn!
RayfordSteele, Dec 11 2003
  

       For some insane reason, I actually tried this. I couldn't adapt a can opener, so I just made ninja stars with can lids. Turns out they're too thin, making them weak and unstable compared to the real thing (that's why can openers work so easily). Still, my buddy and I managed to strike each other a few times from a distance. I now have a really long scar on my unarmoured stomach and a few stab wounds. Beware my close-range projectiles(oxymoron?). Hope [dn] gets his/her account back, I liked his/her personality and humor. (+)
Shadow Phoenix, Sep 27 2007
  

       *sniff* I just realised that this is the idea that brought me to the 1/2b. I was doing a random google on shuriken and saw a link that said " Ninja Star Can-Opener" and had to have a look.   

       I haven't been the same since.
Custardguts, Sep 27 2007
  
      
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